modem

[intranets]

I have a 56k external modem which i find great for the net and wireplay. But somtimes when i find the server busy and want to play games like total annihilation with my mate using a direct line to his house, we cannot get that final handshake to connect to each other. Some of my games work ok for doing this and some dont please can someone help,
is there a setting i can change, to make sure we always connect no matter what game it is
thanks