Sally B

[Sgt H0MER]

One of the few B-17s left flying, the 'Sally B'. Based at Duxford and always in need of cash to keep her flying.
Check out the website:

http://www.deltaweb.co.uk/sallyb/

It needs £300,000 to keep her 'healthy', and as a comparison here is the costings for a brand new B-17 during WWII.


Airframe $127,069
Engines $38,483
Propellers $11,900
Electronics $9,040
Ordnance $6,342
Miscellaneous equipment $45,495
---------
Total: $238,329

[Sgt H0MER]

Hmm! Anyone got a quarter of a million dollars? A time machine? Wow, what fun we could have ...
Ball turret for me! Who wants to pilot?

[MDS1]

Pilot a B17? you Betcha! :D

[Sgt H0MER]

ok we need ...
co-pilot; navigator; bombardier/toggler; radio man; side & tail machine gunners;
:)

As long as we have our dreams ... :)

[hurricane hicken]

I'll be navigator.........but how do i get to my seat???

[Dragonweedy]

I remember when I had a waist!

Can I be a Waste Gunner?

[redkite]

Yup saw her at Duxy, and joined the Association, and i usualy wear my Sally B baseball cap when playing FA11 and flying the the fortress. :)

[animani]

i wanna be the tail gunner ,coz u dont get any planes reversing into mountains

[[Borg] Instinct]

Just get FW190 unloading 30mm and 20mm cannon into you.

[Kaffchew--Anti'sMIssus]

While you are happily dreaming about your plane dont forget that you wont get any re-spawns in it and if you aren't dreaming all together in your different parts of the plane you'll crash ! Awwww Shame !!! :) Hehehehehe

[Poptart]

Count me in as the bombardier... I used to be crap hot with the Norden sight on Mp's B-17. Can't wait for the sequel :)

[Sgt H0MER]

So:-

Pilot: MSD1
C0-Pilot:Redkite
Bombadier: Poptart
Radio man: ?
Navigator: hurricane hicken
waist gunner: Dragonweedy
waist gunner: ?
ball turret: Sgt Homer
tail gunner: animani

So at the next Duxford meet we get Kaff to cause a diversion with her ... <ahem> charms, if yer know what I mean.:wink:. Then we all hop aboard. Take off and have a bit of a laugh with their (fully armed? :))multi-million pound aircraft!

Sorted!:)

['Johnnie' Johnson]

Great, I want to be the squadron intelligence officer and hang around the control tower waiting to see if MSD1 pranged the kite.

[Marky B]

Gimme the last waist gunner spot

[Dave B]

What about top turret?

make it mine.

and as for a radio man what about Bat 21 after all
you can never shut him up :)

[RED KITE]

Bat21 and Dave B, in the same crew? pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew :laugh:

What u reckon Cap'n MDS1 :naughty:

[Kaffchew--Anti'sMIssus]

what do I have to do again ???


ROFL :E

[Sgt H0MER]

:emb:
:wink:LOL!

[MDS1]

LOL! We have a full crew which is the main objective.

Petty squabbles and bickering cease when we "revv up" and FO.

I wish you all to be extraordinarily patient as theres a good chance I dont even get the damn thing off the runway...

However, Redkite will ensure our success at getting airborne... Poptart will get the Bombs right bang on the [Target]...(oops pun there :) )

Hurricane Hicken will navigate us safely, with pinpoint accuracy a forethought...

Our gunners... the wise and worldly Dragonweedy, Animani, known for his determination, and our own Sgt Homer in the ball Turret, keeping us safe from pesky FW's and 109's..

Ahhhhh.... I need a Radio Operator.... would you be interested Mr 'Johnnie Johnson' ? ;)

[hurricane hicken]

Yeah, but can someone tell me where my seat is, I can't find it!!

[Poptart]

It's that nice little swivel-chair to the left of where I sit.

The one in front of the table with all those maps on.

I have a strange feeling that we might end up bombing the Isle of Man on this mission :E

[Edited by Poptart on 08-08-2000 at 02:18 AM]

[Dragonweedy]

Now that the uniforms have been issued, and I'm trying on the lovely sheepskin lined leather jacket and matching baseball hat with ear-flaps, a thought occurs to me. I look down at the sheepskin lined leather boots and trousers, and can't help wondering... does my bum look big in this?



Perhaps I should have taken off the munk robes first!

[Dave B]

hehehe LOL at Dragonweedy, OK OK who let the split on the plane????

[Dragonweedy]

I beg your pardon?

I had my ear-plugs in, I thought you said "who let the split on?", bizarre. Did you really mean "who left the spittoon?", because if you did, then I know the answer. Sgt Homer made me wash it out so he could put some nice daffodils in it. Look, up there by the entrance to the ball turret.

[Dave B]

Originally posted by Dragonweedy
Look, up there by the entrance to the ball turret.

Well pass me the torch and bend over then :laugh:

[Dragonweedy]

It IS a rather lengthy fuselage I agree, but there's no need for any closer inspection. We have to be ready for the next mission, no time to get caught with our pants down, as it were. Best thing to do, is strap yourself in and prepare for take-off. Here, I'll help you into the top turret, just don't stand on my helmet.

Any idea what the target will be this time?

[RED KITE]

Right you oribble lot, the C/o tells me there will be a kit inspection sometime very soon, anyone not coming up to scratch will be on defaulters :laugh:
Gunner Dragoonweed, i suggest you dont wear those sandals for operational duties. Hurricane, for goodness sake man get something for those hiccups. Poptart this aint like shooting ducks on the medway marshes, so wipe that jam of yer lips and smarten up lad.
Animani m8, sorry your request to bring the dog with you is denied, regulations and all that...
And jj intelligence reports that you've been AWOL tut tut !

[Dragonweedy]

Please don't make me peel anymore spuds Cap'n, I can't take anymore...

[Dave B]

Have I mentioned I dont like heights?
I hate flying and I'm a pacifist.

So if you don't let me off this plane right now
Im gonna smash yer faces in

[RED KITE]

At his own request Dave B has asked to be grounded, hmmmm, i suppose a more passive role could be found for you Dave, cleaning the Sqdn Latrines, What d'yer reckon Cap'n.

Any volunteers to fill the important role that Dave B was fullfilling, (pssstt MSD1, what was Dave B's role?)

[MDS1]

Ok you heard the Man.....SHARPEN UP!

Dave B had the waist gunner spot, I was unhappy with this arrangement... due to his hatred of heights and violent outbursts at everyone except the enemy. ;)

We still need another waist gunner to assist "The crack-Shot" Dragonweedy (yes I did say crack.. get yer earplugs out Trip)

Bat*21 has not enroled on this mission as yet... nor has a Radio Operator.

We will commence to do pre-flight checks after my Kit inpection.

Red Kite I ask you to russle up a bit of enthusiasm from the troops, get 'em doubling around the airfield.
Good Man.
Carry on.

[Sgt H0MER]

<RAT-TAT-TAT-RATTTA-RAT-TAT-RAT-RAT-TAT-TAT-RATTTA-RAT-TAT-RAT-RAT-TAT-TAT-RATTTA-RAT-TAT-RAT-RAT-TAT-TAT-RATTTA-RAT-TAT-RAT>

Erm ... oops ...:emb:soz guys I knocked those daffodils over and they landed on my guns. Sorry, I thought the saftey was on!

Don't worry I'll climb into my ball and clean it all up. Hey look! Those people down there look like ants ... oh they are ants! Come on guys, let's take off and see some action!

[Dragonweedy]

Did someone say "RAT"?!
<Dragonweedy climbs on a chair and screams>

[RED KITE]

Errmm <cough> Dave B m8, we seem to have a rat problem , put your mop down , and sort it out m8.
Gunner Dragoonweedy, i accept that the rats were placed by the enemy as a "confusion" tactic, for gallantry shown in the face of the enemy i hereby recommend promotion to comms officer (subject to the C/o's aproval ).
You may take up duties immediately.

[MDS1]

:{ ....Christ!

Ok Ok, Let's get this show on the road, before somebody breaks the plane. :D

At your stations men.... pre-flight checks.....

Rear Gunner?
Top Gunner?
Waist Gunner(s)?
Navigator?
Radio operator?.... Gah! manage without.. :(
Ball Turret Gunner?
Bombadier?
Co-Pilot?
Pilot? (erm.. thats me allegedly..couple of whiskies reqd methinks)

Report in please!

Ok lets GO!

['Bat*21']

ill be your co-pilot, drug you and send you to sleep.... now control the plane...

Kid of family guy: Victory is mine! :D

[MDS1]

Dragonweedy please perform Radio checks...as comms officer
(recently appointed)

Bat, take control of the waist guns my good man, and shoot things! (accurately ...if you please :) )

Redkite, as my learned Co-Pilot, assist in starting this old beaut, if you would be so kind.

['Bat*21']

Do we have a rotating turret on the top of this plane?

if so i turn it round and shoot the tail off as were flying, MWUAUAHAHHAHha

[RED KITE]

excuse me Private Bat:E i hear your a damn good comms man, but thats my seat yer in m8y :laugh:
Right skipper the target is in sealed orders, and can only be viewed once we're airborne.
Commencing flight checks .......

"Flight deck to navigator ..over

[RED KITE]

navigator do you read .....over

['Bat*21']

um, yeah, navigate yourself to your other thread, some of the names there might interest you.. :)

['Bat*21']

OMG, i sounded soooo like my mum then :{

[RED KITE]

KFOPLHAO @^^^^^^ :laugh:

[Marky B]

ummmmmmmmmm, aren't you still missing a tail gunner, and a nose gunner, god your gonna get massacred!

[hurricane hicken]

Hell, with me as navigator there's no chance of anything hostile around.....martians maybe.

[RED KITE]

Righto i propose Marky B, as our new "nose gunner", seeing as he's in the "know's" around here :laugh:
Subject to c/o's aproval.

[Dave B]

Right Boss, I've cleaned out the bogs, and painted a nice ban the bomb symbol on the nose of the plane.

What do you think?

Is there any chance of this plane getting airborne this year?

[stace01]

he can`t read!

:)

Stace

[Dragonweedy]

Are we keeping the original nose-art?

[RED KITE]

Whilst you were down the sqdn mess boozing last night Dave, Sally B had a warm up session in ffa AA, even shot down someone called MDS1, woops ! ( i told bat not to shoot ).
We discovered later that the skippers been doing some moonlighting for some outfit called [Targets] :laugh:

[MDS1]

Ahem! yes well.... moving swiftly along....

Dave B m8.. you have done well, arm a gun now please.
Tripitaka the most holy of holies, conduct Radio checks and lets get on this mission.


Start Engines, chocks away, flaps down, throttles to maximum,<Trip mutters a mantra type prayer> Brakes off...

Assume "take off" positions men... <pilot swigs from hipflask>

<rumbling down runway......> "Co-pilot check trim"

We are Off!

[Sgt H0MER]

Wahey we are up in the air! Anyway do you think we could have the landing gear up now that we have been in the air for half an hour.
Now let's join the formation over the North Sea. You have practised formation flying MDS,eh?

[MDS1]

<Hic!> Gear? ahhhh yes.... Sorted...

<pilot drops empty hipflask devoid of contents>

ahem! ermmm.... f f f formation y y y yesss off courshe..

<audible blow-off> :emb:

Redkite! Take Over! <sniff> <Looks bossy and in control>

"Navigator! co-ordinates if you please" <Hic!>

[RED KITE]

Roger that Skipper...

Course 090....speed 480....alt 10000ft

ermmm coffee on the flight deck please......

Whats that your saying Homer ...........a whatttttttttttt

a STOWAWAY on board ,............jeeeeeeeeeze lads, who the frek is it, or what is it?

( Bat goes to investigate moving object in a sack, assisted by Marky , who seems to "nose" whats going on)

A faint smell of perfume wafts into cOcKpIt......is it .....could it .......naw she's back at base,
its .........

[MDS1]

hmmmmmm.... whhhattt.... ahhh.. yes! Stand To fellas!

Stowaway! By Gad..What-Ho I see ahaaagh... righto..<hic>

Steady there...didn't get where I am today, without the odd unexpectation... <mumble mumble>

Put her to good use crew, damned unofficial this, i must say, <mumble> hmmm... presume course 090 RSI at 850ft per min if you please..

<mumble mumble> Carry on! (no sugar thanks)

Against Regulations dont you know... <mumble mumble>

[Dragonweedy]

Radio Ops to Captain:
Nothng to report Sir!

[Dragonweedy]

Radio Ops to Captain:
Still nothing to report!

[Dragonweedy]

...Sir! (oops! :))

[Dave B]

Aaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh.............. let me of this fecking plane..........................

[RED KITE]

"As dawn breaks it's obvious that someone has spiked the skippers drink, Bat is concerned and desperately worried that his NB postings will be ovetaken by St Peter in Bats absence, and also that his icq messages are stacking up, Homer has recieved a radio message that the Rookie sqdn are planning "something", Dragonweedy is listening to John Humphreys on radio 4, instead of the military waveband, Hurri is still hiccuping, Animani is fretting because he had to leave the dog behind, JJ still hasn't sent any intelligence reports so must still be AWOL , Poptart is deligently checking the bombing system, Marky B reckons he "nose" where we are bound for, and Dave B is begining to relish the idea of shooting something....., and Kaffchew is discovered as the mystery stowaway.......

So LASSIE (kite looks sternly at kaffchew) explain yerself, and what "useful" help can you give the rest of the crew now that your here.....well....

[Dave B]

oooer, ello Kaf, suddenly my fear of flying has diminished somewhat.

ere, Kaff look at the size of this <swings round 50 cal machine gun to show off>

[MDS1]

Highly irregular! stowaway on my ship be damned.

Make yerself useful young lady.

Carry On.

(Redkite reprimand Dave B... flirting with the troops... against regulations, dont you know) <hic!>

[hurricane hicken]

By the way chaps, did anyone stick some gas in this kite before we 'borrowed' it???

[Dave B]

Er... Boss..... you did check the fuel guages in the pre-flight checklist didnt you??

[MDS1]

Settle down men.... returning to base.... :O

<mumble damned fuel guages mest be faulty mumble>

[MDS1]

Redkite... cut engines one and three, if you please, throttles back to 40% on two and four....Dragonweedy radio through to base and explain we have slight "Technical difficulties"

Flaps to position 1, assume landing positions Men..

Steady there.... nothing to fear....

<whispers to Redkite> Does this crate glide?

[Dave B]

Misses, Dragonweedy and Kaff, you heard the boss, flaps to position 1, at the double :laugh:

[MDS1]

Poptart.... Jettison bombs at the double... all other Crew... discard all nonessential items (leave the stowaway:) )

Guns and ammo out the door, all Combat gear out, oxygen equipt out,Dragonweedy lose those daffodils and your other decorating paraphenalia....

Dont Panic Chaps.... Redkite throttles to 30% if you please, flaps to position 2.

Steady there!

[RED KITE]

Screeeeeeeeeeeeeech ...........................Jeeze Skipper that was a close call.

Right chaps (and chapsies) lets get the old girl, trimmed tuned and totted up with TNT..... errr and <cough> fuel....

Skipper, we've just recieved orders to do a bomb run on the Messerschmitt works at Regensburg and the ball bearing plants at Schweifurt, we gotta be ready for take off by 1800hrs, all leave cancelled for fight personel, assume orange security status, all crew members to attend briefing at 1700hrs.
Gentlemen prepare for battle .......oh and Kaff of course:) (yer not a bad coffee maker lass)

Anything to add Skipper before the crew gets some shut eye..

[Dave B]

Bombing runs, 109's, cannons, Triple A, ooooer............

<bring> <bring>
<bring> <bring>
<bring> <bring>

<phone answers>

"Hello its Mrs Dave B, here, I'm afraid David wont be able to come flying with you boys for the next couple of days, as he's got a cold, he will be back when he gets better"

Eeeeeeek got out of that one!

[Marky B]

We still need a tail gunner!! I've had enuff of these germans emptying their loads into our unprotected rears :E

Marky

[RED KITE]

Bring bring
bring bring
bring bring

Mrs Dave B, KITE here, sorry M'am no ones allowed of base, security and all that.

Dave, calm down m8, i was gonna recommend to the skipper that you get premoted to coffee maker, and since Kaffs got "some fighting mettle" we could premote her to tail gunner, Well what'der yer reckon laddie, coffee maker or back to the latrines eh...........

[Dave B]

Well never being one to run away from a fight, and the fact that I have personally downed 123 FW190's (ahem) and I'm as hard as nails, (cough) (cough) but this cold has realy got the better of me, so reluctantly I'll stay here and make the coffee.

[RED KITE]

Good fer you laddie, thats fighting spirit fer yer, when/if we get back from this mission, you can have a couple of days leave, the missus tells me she's a few jobs lined up fer yer :laugh:

[MDS1]

Ahhh well...Good Oh! well done Redkite.

Organise the men as you see fit my man.. I am off to the Officers Mess for a quick Pre-mission briefing.

<wanders off muttering>

[Sgt H0MER]

Sir, permission to speak sir!

Kaff deserves a 'Purple Heart'. She just broke a nail!

Permission to speak freely sir!

If I had known there would be a 'lady' aboard sir, then I would have given my ball a damn good buffing. All those dead bugs on it you see!

[Sgt H0MER]

fnar! fnar!:E

Anyway if we plan to join the fight again, I think we should be getting airborne again. Us gunners have had our powdered eggs for brekkie.

[RED KITE]

Speaking of which, have any of you crew members seen the good lady?

[Sgt H0MER]

Erm confession time I think ...

I arrange to swap her a parachute so she could make some silk tights in return for her winter wolly undies.

Good news, the undies are a snug fit and very warm at high alt. And very helpful in times of hard breaking, ie no skidmarks.

Bad news, It was your 'chute Kite!

<starts running>

[MDS1]

LISTEN IN! crew Haaa-tennnn-shun!

Right... Stand still!!

Righto my trusty gaggle of heroes, enough dissaray and dissent in the Ranks, be-dammed. Purple heart for a stowaway? on my ship? stuff and nonsense by Gad! the only purple thing 'round here will be her backside.

Assume take off positions men, tough mission this one,<mutter mutter> need you all to be switched on and ready for some serious Hun-bashing.

Fe-alllll Out!

[Anti-A]

KAFF ON ANTI'S PUTER


Isn't this thread lovely
Sorry guys I was just busy washing your 'Smalls' and making you some cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off

Once I have finished the domestic chores I shall answer your comments from earlier ! :) Hehehehe

[RED KITE]

Ah shucks guys, i dont mind if Kaff has my chute for some nice silky undies, i'll just borrow that one that Dwayne Dibley keeps advertising fer sale, bloodstained and only used once i think he said, that'll do me.

Righto skipper, whats the gen old chap for this bomb run.
I wanna get close to the action SOON.......

[RED KITE]

errm Kaff lass, "the smalls", i dont have smalls, i have larges, never mind just do the best yer can lassie, but watch out fer Bats boxer shorts, they do seem to have a mind of their own.......if you get my drift......:laugh:

['Bat*21']

oi :)

[Dragonweedy]

Excuse me sir, Cap'n?

I was just checking the Radio in the pre-flight and I discovered this note;

"Dragonweedy/Tripitaka, you are my heart's desire, meet me at my mum's house after the raid. I'll make some lovely Chicory"

Permission to vomit, sir?

This is a man's handwriting, and I am completely masculine sir! I take offence at this slur on my character and wish to diplay my undercarriage to the assembled crew. I would ask for a certificate from Doc Bob but when I last saw him in the Infirmary, he was wearing pants on his head, had two pencils up his nose... he was saying "wibble" a lot too.

[Sgt H0MER]

Erm Dragonweedy, it's been a few hours now and I think we all get your point ... so could you please put away your undercarriage? You're worrying the locals.

Anyway cap'n we're all in the take position in the radio room. When you've done the pre-flights we can get this baby up.

<looks at crew> FNAR! FNAR!

[MDS1]

Ahem... full pre-flights completed, starting engines, fuel load 9650lbs, bomb load 32X 200lbs...

course NNE 025 rate of climb 350 ft per min, if you please, maintain this rate of climb to the rallying point at 10,000ft location Alpha 2.

Settle down men.... conduct your usual in-flight checks if you please.....

Redkite take the helm, my good man. Carry on!

<pilots swigs from trusty hipflask>

<mutter> wasn't like this in the old days be damned <mutter>

[Dragonweedy]

Originally posted by MDS1
<pilots swigs from trusty hipflask>


Already seeing double (or doubles even!)?


Radio from Tower, Sir!

"All Support has returned to base due to inclement weather, proceed with mission unescorted. You're on your own, boys!"

Transmission ended with some kind of interference... sounded like a clap of thunder and an evil maniacal laugh.

[RED KITE]

HELM ! helmmmmmmmmm, Sir begging yer pardon, this is Sally B, not the Queen Mary <kite thinks, jeeze next he'll be saying "hard a starboard ">.
Right lads and lassies, settle down, we got a long flight ahead of us, Kaff them sarnies would go down a treat just now lass, ermmm Dragoonweedy i said "the sarnies would go down a treat"
Dave get a brew going m8, Poptart have you studied the bomb targets?
Animani put that flamin book away about poodles m8, we got enough poodling ahead with the jerries on our tail, Marky, hows yer nose today m8, fire off a few rounds just to check everythings aok.
Bat for goodness sake lad, take that bl---dy washing line down, <kite is momentarily blinded by the bright multi colours of Bats boxer shorts> ah thats better things are begining to look a bit more ship shape and bristol fashion.
Kaff, are them sarnies ready yet lass?..........

[MDS1]

Listen in troops, we are on our own now, oxygen equipment on, eyes peeled for them there Jerry fighters, make your shots count.

When the poo hits the prop..I dont want any shouting and exitement on the intercom be-damned, call the fighters as you see them.<swig>

proceed bearing 085 alt 11000ft,evasive manouveres, if you please.

Settle down men...<mutter> combat be-damned...righto.. Carry on.<mutter > <big swig>

[Dragonweedy]

<Dragonweedy, or is that Trippy?... anyway, DW takes a small phtograph out of the Holy Buddhist scripture book that he keeps in his chest pocket. The photo is of a beautiful woman clutching twin babies. He kisses their 2-dimensional cardboard likenesses and sees a momentary vision of their smiling faces. He gulps, and blinks his eyes slowly, then takes up his secondary position as spare Gunner>

[RED KITE]

Ah yes! photo's, hmmmm, thank you Trip for reminding us, since Sally is fitted out for high-level photography, you will assist Poptart in the capturing of our successful bombing on film, HQ will need as much intelligence as possible, so as to determine whether we do another run.

Skipper take the controls please, Skippeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrr

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<he's snoring ! humph!

Kaff, mug of cold water if you please, at the double lass !

[MDS1]

Ahemm! ahh..yes...<cough> <sniff>
Ok men... I've never lost a ship yet be-damned... not going to start that sort of malarky now...<mutter> Poptart ensure we get good photos of the drop zone, if you please.

Course 095 alt 15000 ft, starting bomb run in 10 minutes by gad..bombadier put those bombs right bang in the pickle barrel.... gunners watch those fighters <swig> case of Scotch to the man with the first confirmed kill, action stations men!

<swig> Flak jackets on men... Jerry Ack Ack.. by gad, accurate too... steady there...<mutter mutter> evasive manouvres......concentrate now Boys... Bomb run approaching...Co-Pilot throttles to 70% level her out....

Bombadier? check in if you please...

[Sgt H0MER]

Hurry up with those bombs Poptart. This flak is getting a bit too close for comfort.

Hang on cap'n!








OK! WE GOT COMPANY. Looks like 2 190s climbing at 3 o'clock ... they are holding off for now ... probably waiting for us to clear the flak. You should see them soon Trip!

[Marky B]

"Nose gunner to Pilot, we got fw190's 11 o'clock high about a squadron, out of range cant fire. Sir, a suggestion, we still need a rear gunner FFS, send Dragonweedy back there, Over"

[Sgt H0MER]

Where's animani, thought he was back there!
Animani ... you there? Can someone go check he's alright?

[MDS1]

Hellfire and damnation!

Redkite get down there and check Animani is at his post...on the double my good man...
be damned if I am going to break out of this Bomb Run.

Bombadier call when you are ready to take over the Sally B,
we are approaching the drop zone now, according to my calculations, be-damned.

I didn't get where I am today by shying away, and missing the blasted [Target].....<mumble>


Marky B and Sgt Homer, steady fellas, keep calling those Fighters... fire when in range, if you please....

Steady now Crew....keep it tight and in control, Dragonweedy...Radio Silence.. and concentrate on those 109's...soon as we clear the blasted Flak give em the full show.....

Bat*21 I expect some sharp shooting from you, my man,very sharp indeed.

Steady now...... Bombadier?
<mumble> easier in the good old days I am sure..be-damned <mumble> <swig>

[Sgt H0MER]

Ball to pilot:

"Eggs away! I repeat we dropped bombs, reckon Pop's com is down, maybe flak severed a wire?
Hope flak did'nt get animani ...

Take us home cap'n.

Now the fun starts ..."

[MDS1]

Righto... thats our Job done.
Jolly well done. <swig>

Now we fly for ourselves... keep it tight gentlemen... keep it tight.

Call off those fighters Sgt Homer, Dragonweedy, and Marky B.

And don't shout,Dag-blast-it.<mutter>

<very big swig> <sniff> <mutter>:talk:

[Marky B]

"WE GOT INCOMING 190'S 11 O'CLOCK IN PAIRS!!!!
[BUDDDA BUDDDA BUDDDA]
[BUDDDA BUDDDA BUDDDA BUDDDA]
[BUDDDA BUDDDA BUDDDA]
[BUDDDA BUDDDA]
"WOOOHOOOOO GOT ONE!! BELLY GUNNERS THEY'RE COMING TO YOU!!!"

[MDS1]

You got yer case of Scotch, Marky B.... damned fine shooting my man.. bleardy good show.. take the other one Sgt Homer, if you please.... steady now... pesky 190's.. catch them on the turn... fly like a paving slab don't you know..


REDKITE! what in damnation is going on back there! if Animani is away from his post, man the rear gun my man! Hellfire, brimstone, sodom and gommorrah..<mutter> lets get this ship home be-damned... didn't get where I am today...<mutter>

Dragonweedy! concentrate my holy wise one, lets get home to our nearest and dearest... without a blasted scratch if you please,..... <swig>

[RED KITE]

awwwwwwwww gawd, skipper Animani has taken a shrapnel wound, i've patched him up, he'll be ok, but there's a lotta damage back there, <sniff sniff> where's that smoke coming from ............fire.....fire .......fire in the aft section, Tripa grab that fire banket man, and pray like you've never prayed before m8......Bat give a hand there fella, Dave......DAVE........Daveeeeeeee, c'mon man this could be it, if we dont get this under control...

[Marky B]

Fire? Fire?!?!?!? S.hite and i didn't bring the damn sausages :(

[MDS1]

Steady now men... panic will help no-one, dagfire What-Ho be-damned.

Get that fire under control PDQ...if you please,patch up Animani be damned, get the fella home in one piece if you would be so kind....didn't get where I am today without the odd cut and bruise.. <mutter>

Get that Fire OUT now!

Cant be doing with anymore blasted problems...<mutter> not Cricket dont you know..

Call out those Fighters! Gunners at the ready! Sgt Homer! get those blasted Jerrys...goldarnit! Steady now...

[RED KITE]

Skipper the inboard starboard engine is overheating........shall i shut it down?

<kite checks second hand parachute ex Dwayne Dibley's.>

[MDS1]

Dont like it.. dont like it one iota.

Feather that prop,redkite... <swig> cant have engine fire.. no not today thank you...<mutter>:talk:

Got one of these back on one engine once.. dont ya know...be-damned if I want to do that again...

Keep it tight gentlemen... my round in the Mess when we get home ...

[[Eagles]c/o Impact]

rofl... I will send about 400 Thousand though, Just to keep you guys quite and off this board :)

[RED KITE]

Roger that skipper, starboard inboard feathered.
The lads have got the fire under control back there, but there's still plenty of aa about.
"Flight deck to all crew, damage report please"

Skipper, Poptart's reporting a jammed bomb in no 2 bay, and Tripa is decoding orders just recieved from HQ........

[[Eagles]c/o Impact]

Calm down RED KITE... Breath deeply and calmly

lol m8

[RED KITE]

Tripa you got that message decoded yet ?

[[Eagles]c/o Impact]

Oh my God, The Wings fallen off!!

['Bat*21']

:z

[Sgt H0MER]

Wahoo! I got one of 'em. My .50 shells 'impacted on his Eagle' insignia.

Anyway we got more enemy than I can count right now!
Wahhoooo! This is fun! A man could really get used to killing th<[/i]THUD[/i]> ... eurghhh!!

[MDS1]

Jammed Bomb? What the blazes is all that about?

<mutters> trying to avoid the worst Ack Ack known to man.. how's a fella supposed to cope be-gad <mutter>

Bat... get yerself into that there Bomb Bay..and lose that blasted hitched up Hun-fragger... on the double man.. jump to it....


Steady now men.... RedKite! get your Carcass into the bridge be-damned, assist in evasive manouvres...<swig>
<hic> Dagnabbitt, blast it and damnation! me hipflask is empty...

<mumble> hmmmph...wasn't like this in my day... dontcha know...<mumble,burp,blow-off,mumble>

[MDS1]

Keee-rist!!!


Get a man up to Sgt Homer... quickly now...keep it calm... Keep it tight....

<searches frantically for "secret" supply of whisky>

[Famin -[guards]-]

hey man you need another side gunner you got one here

[Anti-A]

heheheheh English Svine I got you in mine sights!

levt a bit up a bit carvully

FIRE FIRE FIRE

<watches ze flack bursts>


GOT UND HIMMEL ! ze svines are getting away!

Hans! get Mine Von'O'nine ready I'm goining after zem!

[RED KITE]

KFOPLHAO @^^^^^^^^^^ :laugh:

[MDS1]

Somebody get that blasted Jerry!!!

Dragonweedy! Marky B!!! be-damned if I will allow a bleardy Hun to shoot my ship.....just not Cricket...

<pleased expression as secret stash of Glenmorangie found>

[Anti-A]

<alt 25000ft>

vare are zey?

<opens canopy and flicks out empy stella can, closes canopy>

hmmmmmmmmm!

<opens canopy, sniffs>

ahhhh I smell ze burnt sarnies of zat little naafi wench!

I love ze smell of toast in ze mornings!

<banks plane and starts to dive>

[Dragonweedy]

Sorry Cap'n... been busy on R/T... We gotta new heading from Base, they been hit. .. we gotta head for the fighter base at Middle Wallop... it has a real short runway, but it's the only one open.

<burst of static on intercom>

I found the morphine pack, and I gave Animani a shot... looks like he'll pull through.

<burst of static>

The 190s have pulled away, looks like our fighters are coming to save us

[Dragonweedy]

I tried kicking the bomb, but it looks lodged firmly.

[RED KITE]

The skippers Sleeping Tripa, tell u what, we'll wait till we're over the channel and try again.
We've lost that 109 thank goodness, but mainly due to this early morning mist, thats gonna make navigating into middle wallop an absolute nightmare, has Hurricane "hiccup" Hicken, plotted the course coordinates yet, we really musnt have any "hiccups" in this one, thats fer sure.
Kaff rustle up something fot brekkie lass, and make sure Animani is comfortable now.....
Bat, keep yer eyes pealed m'lad, the mist could clear just as quick as it came, dont wanna get caught by stray jerry fighters......
Homer...., a mention in dispatches fer you m'lad, good shooting with downing that plane from the Luftwaffe Eagle SQDN.
Marky... we might need that "nose" of yours, if this mist stays like this m8.
I think i'll give the skipper a wakey wakey in a couple of mins Kaff, so have some real strong coffe ready, cos he's like a camel with no hump till his got his coffee..........

[Sgt H0MER]

Ball to cockpit:
"Pheew! I'm ok now! Must've got hit by flak, I got a hole in my ball (fnar fnar;)) and a thumping in my head. Must've been knocked out! Maybe "100% proof" MSD breathed on me? Anyways, Kaff's burnt toast has woke me up!

Erm, gotta say Trip ol' boy. Squatting here slung under the plane can get a bit hairy at times. Can you stick to official crew tousers and jackets, and not your monk gown. I can see it all when you pass over m8.:emb:

['Bat*21']

I was promiced food, just because you lock me in the lavatory you cant deprive me of food... ;(

[RED KITE]

Dave B M8, The skipper says you did a spiffing job helping Kaff at the rear end last night, fancy yerself as a "tailender" eh, righto since you've shown a degree of "interest" in that role i'll propose to the skipper that on the next mission you can be tail gunner, and the skipper and i will discuss where we can best utilise Kaff.....
Skipper......Skipper......wakey wakeeeeeeeeeee

[RED KITE]

Young Bat M'lad, no one locked you in deliberately, the door must have got jammed in the halabuloo last night, your a valued member of crew m'lad so chin up, and make sure your life jackets handy, cos we aint outa the woods yet....
here m8.....<kite shares brekkie with bat>......

['Bat*21']

<slides breakfast his way>
>>Munch munch munch<<

[Dragonweedy]

I'm sure I didn't PASS ANYTHING when I walked by your ball Sarge. But I may have spilled some of Kaff's coffee, maybe that is the burning sensation on your cheeks (it may have collected at the base of your ball!).

If we're clear of the enemy fighters you'd better start thinking about getting out of your ball matey!

[Sgt H0MER]

The hatch is stuck, help me out Trip. Maybe caught some flak somewhere?

[Dragonweedy]

Oh my God!


Cap'n! Sarge is stuck down there! He is jammed in tight!

[Marky B]

Ummmmmmmmmm hate to point this out to you, but we're actually flying south! Who taught you Pilots neway?!?

[MDS1]

Morning Crew.... <cough> <cough> Coffee! ahhh... righto..Top-Hole!

<pours prodigous dollop of whisky into Kaffs Coffee>

Damned Misty What! what's that Dragonweedy?... Middle Wallop eh? <mutter> hellish short runway there.... hellish short.. by Gad....

Didn't get where I am today without the odd short runway landing though...Hmmmph!

Get Homer out of that Ball turret if you please.... don't need him there now men.....Jump to it!

[Marky B]

Sir, as I'm sure your well aware South is actually the wrong direction to be heading, we should be heading North-West!

[MDS1]

Gad-dammit...south?? how in the blazes did that happen!

Navigator? explain yerself my man...south?? hmmm....righto..More Coffee in the flight deck if you please..

alter course to bearing 002 heading North.. if you please..

Lets get this ship home be-damned... Officers Mess is open for de-briefing.....<longingly thinks of single malt in a proper cut crystal glass>

Didn't get where I am today....by going the wrong blasted way be-damned! Radio operator check weather conditions at the "wallop" if you would be so kind.

[RED KITE]

Cap'n sir, comms reports that the German cruiser "Mutz" is in our area of the English channel, weather reports are that the mist might clear, HQ wants to know if we can drop our remaining bomb, as intelligence reports suggest that it's Mutz that was involved in operation "doggywaggle" and is a continued threat to allied supply lines.
Sir........the mist is clearing......

[hurricane hicken]

mumble......flak
mumble......fw190
mumble......manned gun
mumble......charts lost in evasive manoevers
mumble......blame the nav man for everything

[Marky B]

The Mutz?? My brother was killed by the Mutz in Operation "Mountabitch", I want some payback! Permission to be dropped like a bomb on the Mutz please sir!

[MDS1]

Hurricane Hicken, my good man stop yer mumbling and plot a course to the Mutz, quick as you like!

Dragonweedy I want the sarge out of that Ball.. and down to the bomb bay with yerself and Bat*21... goldarnit that final 200 pounder is going smack on the fo'c'sle... be-damned..

Marky B you have a "nose" for this navigation malarky..assist Hurricane, on the double my man...

Redkite to the bridge if you please...

[MDS1]

Poptart! report in my good man... I want that final bomb on the Mutz.... no shilly shallying...jump to it...

<mumble> blasted mutz indeed..be-damned...gonna sink the bugger..what ho! <mumble>

[RED KITE]

Sar......

[MDS1]

ahh.. good man..jolly good... once we get our course I need you to hold her steady..damned awkward to stay straight with only 3 engines...dont you know....

Hows it going in that bomb-bay? Hurricane have you got that course yet?

action stations men...once more to the breach..<assumes speech giving posture and tone>

I didn't get where I am today... without sinking a few ships along the way...<looks at redkite for confimation>

Carry On!

[Dragonweedy]

Cap'n, I don't know how to tell you this...

Bat*21 just did the craziest thing I ever saw. You wanted that bomb out of the bay? Well Batty just rode that lead balloon like it was a bucking bronco and took it with him to oblivion.

We were trying to loosen the catches on the outer bracket when Bat called out that he could see the Mutz. We tried to release the catch but neither of us could get it to budge. I dropped one of my sandals and Bat even tried licking the grease from off the hinge. Finally he jumped on top of the bomb (it was the one that we had painted "Lunchtime Fritz" on the side), he took out his foldaway stetson and started whooping like an injun. I don't know how he did it, but the damn bomb just dropped like a stone and the last I saw he was laughing like a clown in a rodeo heading straight for the centre funnel on the Mutz...

I never met a braver man, and I'll never forget his crazy "Batty Bat" song...

[Marky B]

Poor old Bat :( Course plotted, head thataway <points outta window>

[Sgt H0MER]

<Takes off cap as a mark of respect>

Those poor sailors! If a bomb was'nt enough, they're going to have Bat*21 dropping in. Was funny to watch though, could have swore I saw Trip cut Bat's harness.

Hang on those sailors are jumping overboard!

Hoorah! Bat has frightened off the Jerries and has commandeered the boat.

[RED KITE]

Cap'n sir, your be pleased to hear that Tripa has Bat on the radio, he is safe and well and apparently once he was sure the bomb was on target, he lept clear and pulled his chute, he's now been picked up by air sea rescue from Dover, and hopefully will rejoin the crew back at base, What an act of bravery this young man has shown.
Intelligence reports that Bats "guided missile" struck the stern section of "Mutz" and the cruisers steering gear is seriously disabled.....she is damaged but not down...yet.

May i suggest we make haste back to base skipper, i've a feeling we're gonna be back in the air all to soon.....

[Marky B]

I've got an idea, Sir, fly back over the target and i'll chuck that fridge packed with explosive that we picked up from that guy in the pub onto the Mutz, i'm sure it will make a dent.

Marky

[MDS1]

Be-gad, hells teeth, well done that man.

BLEARDY GOOD SHOW! What! Slendid! Bat*21 you will be promoted for this my good man!

Crew, take your posts for the journey home.... if you please.

I know nothing of any refrigerator full of explosives... but chuck it out for good measure nonetheless...:naughty:

Excellent mission men.. dammed proud of you all.. be-damned.

presume course for middle wallop.. bearing 235 NW alt 3500ft
three remaining engines at 65%... if you please... flaps to position 1, Gear down....... brakes on.....

Steady now men.....STEADY!

<mutter> Bleardy runways like a dagnabbit postage stamp be-damned <mutter>

[Marky B]

The port wheels haven't come down sir!!!!! Abort ABORT!!!!!

[Edited by Marky B on 13-08-2000 at 08:15 PM]

[Anti-A]

<after the mist cleared Nem could see the stricken war ship Mutz and heading NW the lone B17>

Ahhhhhhhhhhaaaaacoughaaah I see Zem!

<looks at gauges>


Damit! low on fuel Schvines!


I hav only von pass

<flying low and aiming at the belly of the B17 Nem begins his attack>


3000m.........2500......2000......

[Anti-A]

WE interupt this amazing thread to bring you news from our sponsors!


blaaa blaaa blaaa blaaaaa


OK back to the action!

[MDS1]

Crikey! looks like we have that blasted lone Hun on our tail again be-damned...STAND TO!

<thinking frantically how to land with 3 engines and only one wheel>

Pull the ship up Redkite... retract that blasted wheel... lets give that pesky Hun a sound thrashing... gunners at the ready...damn ***** cant have much fuel...well beyond his range..<mumble> didn't get where I am today...<mumble>

he's closing men...steady now...get yer carcass back into that ball turret Homer my good man...quick as you like!

<mumble> some damned mission this.. be-damned <mumble>

[MDS1]

<mumble> Highly Irregular! <mumble>

[RED KITE]

My god Cap'n those planes are ours up there, <enter Sgt homers rookies to the tune of monty pythons flying circus) Drat it Bat, I was looking forward to you guys shooting that 109 down, never mind , aw my gawd theres more 109's coming down outa the sun........

[Dragonweedy]

Got three 109s at 4 o'clock, just in time for tea!

[Dragonweedy]

I hit one! There's two more at six o'clock, coming under for you Sarge!

Break left if you can Cap'n!

[Dragonweedy]

Woohoo!, Sarge got another!

The first wave are back at 4.30... Hahaaaa, gotcha! One more downed... smoke me a kipper Ma, I'm comin'home!

Wha!... I've run out of Ammo... I'm going to the rear gun position, I'm no Tail End Charlie, but I'll try anything once!

[Sgt H0MER]

Erm ... those 'rookie saviours' are crashing into each other. I caught something on the com about "damn that F4 view".

109s closing, a little closer and they will be in range ...
hang on ...
have we got a fire in an engine?...

Wahey! Kaff's burnt toast is creating the perfect smokescreen, and we are losing them. Oh Kaff you are the best :kiss:.
<A relieved Homer loses it for a bit & runs the length of the fuselage>
Oh crewmembers you are the best too :kiss:. I'm alive! I'm alive! :rolling:

[Dragonweedy]

Sarge you gotta look out of the Right hand side of the plane sometimes too! Don't you even watch when you're firing?

[RED KITE]

Repeat that last message Tripa, did you say Homer is frying, jeeze man doesnt he realise there's a war going on outside, phewwwwwww, this aint no time for cooking breakfast !

[MDS1]

Bally Hell chaps!

Pull it together you shower of spotty horrors!!
well done Dragonweedy for some extraordinary shooting my man!

Bleardy good show ... be damned... lets get this ship shaped up sharpish.. I didn't get were I am today....<mutter>

Get them final jerries if you please... and look out for them there spitfires! they happen to be ours.. dont you know...damned things seem fond of crashing tho...

<mutter> wasn't like this at ALL in the old days..<mutter>

[Dragonweedy]

I think we're all done here Cap'n. I guess it is up to you now...

<Dragonweedy steps into the cockpit and with a firm reassuring voice says...>
I just want you to know Captain, we're all counting on you!

[MDS1]

<stern type commanding look>

Dragonweedy my good man, this crew has done exceptionally well, exceptionally well... be-damned.

<lowers voice>

I wish to return to base...preferably in one piece...so please assist me and Redkite getting her home.... check with Middle Wallop or Duxford... whichever is available.. and get Homer to help you crank down that starboard wheel manually.

When we get home, you are all coming to the Mess with me for some salt and vinegar crisps, and some celebratory drinkies.

I will be putting in a full report to the Camp Commander, Group Captain Errington-Wheedle (personal old friend of mine) and I expect many decorations for you all.

Lets get her home Dragonweedy... and in for much needed repairs By-Gad!

Look sharp now men! Homeward Bound be-damned! What Ho!

[Marky B]

Sir!! We're flying South again!!!!

[RED KITE]

ermmm Kite to nose gunner, No probs up here Marky, compass reads true, besides we can see the white cliffs of Dover now that the mist has cleared.
Tripa M'lad, try and get some of that Vera Lynn stuff on the old crystal set m8y, <kites pondering the whereabouts of the German cruiser Mutz...drifting aimlessly around the English channel> ....
Wahooo Tripa, well done M'lad <the crew now settles to the sound of Vera Lynn.........."we'll meet again, dont know where dont know when..................

[Marky B]

Sir I 'Nose' my business, them White Cliffs aint Dover, them the White Cliffs of Calais you muppet Sir! Either that or half the German Navy is now docked at Dover!

[RED KITE]

Hmmm i can see why yer confused M'lad, but you dont have the benefit of seeing the old compass up here, like the skipper and i do, besides those ships you see down there, are actualy decoys that have been made to look like German ships, the idea being, according to intelligence is to use them to get close to the French coast, and to confuse the enemy.
ermmmm Dave B, is there any coffee brewing m8,

[Marky B]

Sir, If they're decoys, why are they firing at us?

[Dave B]

Aitchoo, Aitchoo, hmmm colds not getting better, I'll put the kettle on fer the lads, and then count the bombers back in again.

[RED KITE]

Flight deck to coffee maker......Thanks Dave, soon be home m8, hmmmm nice cosy bed, snuggle up to the missus......hmmm.

Marky m8, them's are blank rounds m8 :laugh:, they'll just be practising for the decoy operation, relax we're on the homeward stretch, <as Sally skims over the cliffs at Beachy Head> Look below lads there's Captain Rocky's Home Guard unit.......
Kaff lass, check on Animani,........
Tripa contact base and let em know, we're coming in, Skipper ....I'd better check whether we can wind down the jammed wheel, take the controls please.............

[Marky B]

<waves to Cpt Rocky>

[MDS1]

Roger that Redkite my good man... I have just received encrypted orders from base.(thank you for helping me decode it Dragonweedy)

Its 'Secret' UK eyes only .... However I can tell you we get home for a quick refit,couple of drinks in the mess.. then we are back on the job..

All leave cancelled... we need to be operational within 48 hrs.

Lets get this bird home men.

Well done all...Jump to it men...ignore those decoys..be damned...fools can't recognise there own blasted side.

<mumble> confused me too there for a minute.. be-damned <mumble>



[Edited by MDS1 on 14-08-2000 at 01:18 PM]

[Dragonweedy]

Wheel's down now Cap'n!

[Dragonweedy]

Bomb bay doors are closed now Cap'n!

[MDS1]

Ahhh good show!

Landing positions men.... Redkite assist if you please...
Damned thing handling like a blasted brick...

steady now... steady...<mumble> come on Sally B good ole Gal..<mumble>

[RED KITE]

Runway ahead Cap'n, the "old girls" shaking about a bit, hold on lads, brace ... brace.......brace.............

[Marky B]

/me runs from the front of the plane into the back, and jumps on Kaff

"If i'm going out, in going out in style!"



[Edited by Marky B on 14-08-2000 at 01:37 PM]

[RED KITE]

Steady........Steadyyyy, 500ft.....400ft......300ft....

[MDS1]

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHH! THUMP-BANG BADOOMPAH!

Cut engines Redkite.... bedamned we're down. <big sigh>

All men to the mess hall if you please..De- briefing in 40 minutes.

Get Animani to the Medcentre..if you please.

<Pilot wanders off to the Officers mess for much needed refreshment>

[RED KITE]

Flight deck to all crew......Welcome home, well done lads and lassies :)

[Dave B]

Cooooeeee, tea light refreshment, choccy biccys on the left rich tea on the right.

[Marky B]

Do you have ne donuts?

[MDS1]

Righto Chaps and 'Chappette'... I have spent the last 40 minutes with the Group Captain...Dashed pleased with us he is too..be-damned.

I have had confirmation of our next mission...<adopts stern expression>

Our mission is two-fold. We must at all costs sink that dagblasted 'Mutz' crippled and en route to Bremerhaven... we will load 2X 1000 pounders just for that little job...
we then fly south to deepest Prussia... Seesen is the Target de-damned... were a Nazi HQ will be full of the Hun Heirachy having a bit of secret rendezvous.

I have instructed that 10 X 200lb incendaries be loaded for that little party.

The Sally B will be ready for the mission by 0530hrs the day after tommorow.

get some shuteye men.... I am off to the Bar for a quick nightcap. Redkite please accompany me...Any questions troops?

[RED KITE]

Wilco on that one skipper.
I hear Young Bats back on base Sir, i'll just doodle over to the sick bay, and shake the fella by the hand, mighty fine bit of work that fella did, i hear the lads are calling him the "BuckingBatBomber" <try saying that quickly sir>.

[Sgt H0MER]

<cough>
Medals?
<cough>

[Marky B]

<cough>
agrees
<cough>

[RED KITE]

Seems like the lads have caught Daves cold Skipper :laugh:

[MDS1]

MEDALS??? damned cheek of it... be-damned.

I didn't select this crew, and fly through hell itself.. to be asked for medals.... tut....tut...

That is not my decision men. You will be recognised by the relevant authorities for that one... By Gad!

What I do want.. is a ready and able crew to carry out this most secret of missions... damned dangerous...don't you know... not for the weak hearted....
By Gad!

All those who want out speak now! by damn!

all those in for a fireworks party of the highest degree call your names!!!

<mumble> can't get the staff.. dont you know...<mumble>

from the right... number!

Tail Gunner?
Waist Gunners?
Top turret?
Ball Turret? (stand still Sgt Homer!)
Radio Operator?
Navigator?
Bombadier?

Dammit men... call your names! no time to waste be-damned!!!

[Dave B]

Bog Cleaner and Coffee Maker: "present and correct sir"

(I aint going with them lunatics in no ferking plane) ;)

[Marky B]

Umm you forgot 'Nose turret', present and correct sir, only 4 more Jerry planes and i'm an Ace!!

[MDS1]

AHA! errrmmm... well.. I see. <ahem>

Lets do a quick recap. I have a latrinal engineer and a nose gunner of the highest calibre.

Hmmmmmm.... <clears throat in regimental sort of way>

Looks like the mission is off then.

<mumble> wasnt like this in the old days be-damned what! <mumble>

[RED KITE]

Cap'n Sir, i think you'll find that the lads have been celebrating in style, once they've sobered up (and Daves missus lets him go) they'll all be sh**ed, shaved, shampooed, and rearing to go. <jeeze they're only doing off duty what he ^^^^^does on):laugh:

[MDS1]

Very well..<ahem> I see righto... aha... Jolly good.

Lets check on the Sally B, Redkite my good man, engineers have been working on her round the clock by gad!

Lets give her the once over.

<wanders off to the hangar with a duffle bag clinking suspiciously> ;)

[RED KITE]

You'll notice Sir, that the engineers have done some modifiations, they've added another 3 browning machine guns, and also some "cheek" guns, as it was felt that when we were h2h with jerry fighters, that there was a vunerable area to the front, we also now have a two-gun chin turret.
I must say the engineers have done a spiffing job,.... any news on the new crew yet Sir......or is our next mission that difficult that we should be asking for volunteers ?

[Marky B]

Sweet I get to chuck twice the number of .50 cal ammo at once into the Hun!

[MDS1]

Marky B... I am happy that you have extra guns. My Man you are going to need them.

I have just received orders from the Group Captain...(damn fine fellow.. (plays with a handicap of 9 don't you know..)

Our original Mission has been cancelled... due to some intelligence nonsense... stand by men.... Sgt Homer and a few others are with the Group Captain now....

We have got a real "tough one" coming up... details to follow..... take the time to get a quick round of Golf in..

Back on Parade in 48 hours.... if you please...

Redkite... accompany me to the Mess if you please....

[Anti-A]

heheheh
<looks around bomb bay>




hmmmmm I did it!

<after aclose run in with the ball and tail gunner of the B17 our gallant hero in a last ditch attempt managed to bail from his cripled 109 and scramble into the belly of the Bomber as the doors were closing>


hmmmm toast yummy.

[Edited by Anti-A on 18-08-2000 at 10:47 PM]

[WeatherGuy]

ahhh yes the good old sally b...off course she needs some flying escorte...i'll b happy to escorte if u want me to.

[Marky B]

*Spies Anti eating Toast* Oi, Marines! We got a ***** on the base, the first one to catch him, gets first turn with him 2nite! *Runs after Anti armed to the teeth*

[MDS1]

Weather Guy my good man.. welcome to the fray..

We will require your services indeed. Stand by for Orders and mission details....

Ready to go in 36 hours if you please.

Good Man.
Carry On!

[Anti-A]

eeeek I hav been spotted!

<spots ball turret is open>

hehheeh I vill hide in zere till zey land!

<hides in ball turret locking door>

Cos its a bit tight in here , erm and who might you be ?....

[Marky B]

we have landed u muppet, 2 days ago! *he says b4 yanking anti outta the turret and bending him over*

[RED KITE]

Now now M'lad easy on the prisoner, intelligence will want a word with him, and he may yet prove to be an asset to this next mission.

[WeatherGuy]

yes intelligence will surely get something outta him... in the mean time during my pre mission period i'm feeling a little bored...*climbs into spit 9 and takes off, once airborne WG heads toward germany shooting down some bmw delievery planes on the way*... oops did i hit something? no i thought not

[MDS1]

Marky B!!! Dammit man... leave that prisoner alone! Geneva Convention.. all that stuff and nonsense... dont you know.

Get him off to the Military Police be-damned.... Bleardy Hun get everywhere.... by Gad!

Administer the minimun force neccessary to get him to cough up...erm..what we want to know......<ahem>

<leans over to Redkite and whispers.."what do we want to know old boy?" looks back at Marky B in a Regimental manner>

Get on with it my man! Double away!
<mumble> damned Hun might be of use by gad...<mumble>

[Edited by MDS1 on 19-08-2000 at 07:22 PM]

[Marky B]

Sorry Sir! Handi Hock German scum! *kicks anti* Off to the cells with you *leads Anti away*

[Edited by Marky B on 19-08-2000 at 11:25 PM]

[MDS1]

<cough> Ahem!

Jolly good. Carry on.

[Anti-A]

OW oooh eeek minen arsen himmel!


ok vot do you vont to know?


<its all lies i tell ya>

shhh ffs!

damn narrator got me into this poo!

<no i didnt>

FFS shhhhh I have a cunning plan!

<oooh harken to him>

shhhhhh! cough!
<>

I no speekensi engleesh?

<LOL I gotta see this>

SSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh FFS!

<plan my arse!>

ooh ooh my leg!

<jeez they realy gonna fall for that one>


ooh the pain!

<yeah yeah we know get on with it>




[Edited by Anti-A on 20-08-2000 at 12:56 AM]

[WeatherGuy]

*punches anti-a* C'MON TELL US WHAT WE WANT CUZ I CAN KEEP THIS UP ALL DAY *punches again* ...ouch...perhaps not.

[Marky B]

Ok German scum you asked for it *Pulls out pliars and a flame torch* muuuuuuuuhahahahahahaha

[Anti-A]

AAAAARGH!

pops cyanide pill into mouth! crunch



























?????















TIC TACS ! aaargh I've been had !

[Marky B]

*whips out scalpel and salt* Tell us what you know, now!!

[Anti-A]

<looks sheepishly at feet>


I did poo poo in the ball turret.


well it was very scary!

[RED KITE]

Atenshuuuuuuuuun ! :furious:

And what do you guys think your up to eh ! EH!

I go away for a few days leave, and you rabble around like some stupid naafi tarts, phewwwwww
The skipper will not tolerate this mistreatment of prisoners and under the geneva convention the prisoner is entitled to certain standards.
Marky m'lad wipe that smirk of your face.
Hmmmmm i'm gonna have a talk to the skipper, in the meantime get your quarters cleaned and be ready for a kit inspection, AT the DOUBLE.....

[Marky B]

Sir! Yes, Sir! *Legs it off to quarters*

[MDS1]

WHAT IN THE BLAZES HAS BEEN GOING ON!!!

The damned ***** deserves a sound thrashing (strictly off the record.. of course) but I will not tolerate this!

Redkite administer 'restriction of priveleges' to these two disgusting little men.

Pah! <mumble> wasnt like this in my day be-damned <mumble>

And get that Hun locked up in the bleardy Guardroom!

Carry On!

[Marky B]

I didn't do anything that's not in the USAF's guidebook to torturing Captives Sir, also the Geneva Convention states that

Torturing of captives is not allowed unless:
a) They are German
b) The following implements are used
- Flametorch
- Pliars
- Scapel
- Salt