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[Jedi]Gryphon
05-09-2000, 18:03
I saw this some years ago and forgot it. One of my m8's just reposted it to me, it still tickles me so lets hopew you do too.


UNIVERSITY EXAM QUESTION

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1). If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, than the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2). Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having any relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

P.S. The student received the only "A" given.

Cooger
05-09-2000, 19:28
sorry couldnt be bothered to read it...although the first few lines didnt sound too good :)

Garibaldi
05-09-2000, 19:33
Suitably tickled :)

paulfitzs
06-09-2000, 13:36
Reminds me of the physics exam story.
Question:Using a barometer how would you determine the height of a tall building.
A student answered, tie it onto a long piece of string, lower it from the roof to the ground, measure length of string. Height of building = length of string + height of barometer.
The examiner called for the student and said they would get the mark if they could suggest a more scientific way.
The student then said OK measure length of shadow of barometer and lenghth of shadow of building and use "similar triangles" calculation to give height OR
Go to the janitor and say "I have a nice barometer here and I'll let you have it if you tell me how high this building is"
The student then proceeded to give about three other very flippant but nonetheless scientific means (which I don't remember) of getting the height.
The student concluded by saying "If you want to be really boring, measure pressure at ground level and at top of building and as atmospheric pressure reduces awith altitude at a set rate use the difference in pressure to determine height."
The student got a pass and later won the Nobel prize for physics.

Phillie Time
06-09-2000, 13:42
lol cool answers ???

And Coogs ???? can't read it but happy to post a reply ??? SPAMMER !!!!!! :rolling: :tongue:

:bandit: