"worries" by me :)

[[WaR]docman]

w o r r i e s

Oh, to be a bird; without a worry in the world.
The flap of his wings as his partner sings.
He Floats though the air, still has, not a care.
Oh, to be a bird.

Oh, to be a tree; without worry, says the bee.
Lets out his leaves, in the mid-summers breeze.
Blossoming with life, no trouble, no strife.
Oh, to be a tree.

Oh, to be a cat; not a worry, says the rat.
She stalks and she purrs.
Not a worry in the world.
Oh, to be a cat.

Oh, to be alive, without worry? said I.
Poverty and war, hunger and lies.
Whens the next fight, who’s next to die.
Who in the world, would want to be alive.

Oh, to be dead; not a thought in your head.
No poverty, no war, no hunger or lies.
Nevermore death, forever alive.
Who in the world, would want to be alive.

[docman]


What say ye ! :D

[Mori]

I say - pretty damn good :) This is the sort of style I enjoy, when it's not too forced.

I also say people on this forum should take more time to comment on others' works. Why would anyone want to share their inspirations if they're just going to be ignored?

[RoadHawK]

Excellent, that last paragraph has more impact than a sledghammer.

[[WaR]docman]

thanks for the kind comments.


stil figuring out what drugs i was on at the time of writing lol :)


-docceh

[[TSQN] Fu11]

Originally posted by [WaR]docman
Who in the world, would want to be alive.

so fitting, so true, and so sad.

i've been reading your posts over the past few days (not replying due to total lack of time) and your style is wonderful, never stop writing such unsubtle, sledgehammer words. you break down walls, which is a good thing.


and as Moriarty says, we should give more criticism on others writings, constructive of courses, even on negative criticism, we can create foundations on which to build the most breathtaking words.

every time i visit this place, i am more inspired, and impressed, with everyone here, let's build it up even more, this is just the beginning. we have foundations laid, and towers to construct.

love to all.

Danny.

[Nerfie]

Inspiration comes from experiences, unfortunatly all mine have been bad, but hey, inspiration also comes from the soul aswell.

Nice words doc. Believe it or not im working on a happier poem :) or trying would be a better description :)
as fu11 said, this is the start of something I hope grows very fast and becomes very strong :)

Peace

[[TSQN] Fu11]

Taken from a song called Memory Machine, by a band called The Dismemberment Plan
There are folks that say to have a soul, you've got to suffer

[[WaR]docman]

this is prolly my fav poem :)


i like the way that it sorta hinds that death is preferable to life, without actually making it obvious and killed the lighter note of the rest of the poem (trees, cats, etc)

[[TSQN] Fu11]

Originally posted elsewhere on this forum, go look!
only in death can there be freedom

couldn't agree more.

:)