Simpsons calander quotes (Very funny)

[Y2D]

I would have done this a while ago, but my PC's been a bit broke :(
Ok, the following are quotes from each day of the year. I should (hopefully) be updating 2 this each day with a new quote from my Simpsons calander (although I'm gonna leave out the crap 'uns). Ok, so lets go...

January 3rd
Moe: Everybody is going 2 family restaurants these days. Seems nobody wants 2 hang out in a dank pit no more.
Carl: You aint thinking of gettin rid of the dank, are you Moe?
Moe: Ah, maybe I am.
Carl: Oh, but Moe, the dank! The dank!

5th
Kent: Uh, Mr. Burns, people are calling this a meltdown.
Burns: Oh, meltdown. It's one of those annoying "buzzwords." We prefer 2 call it an unrequested fission surplus.

6th/7th
Flanders: Oh, golly, if that doesn't put the "Shaz" in "Shazam!"

8th (I love this 'un)
Det. Brodka: Oh, sure, now he's just a little boy stealing little toys, but someday he'll be a grown man stealing stadiums...and quarries.

9th
Scorpio: Homer, on your way out, if you want 2 kill somebody, it would help me a lot.

15th
(In a song)
Homer: Bart was feeling mighty blue.
Marge: It's a shame what school can do.
Apu: 4 no reason here's Apu
All: Those were the days.

These are all the good 1's so far. I'll post 1 4 everyday though now.

[wetwilly1717]

nice one mate :laugh: I only read half of them and they are funny :)

[starscream]

yeah, those are great - definatly keep posting em.

BTW what Simpsons Calender did u get em off ?

[Y2D]

18th
Mr. Burns: I dreamed about her again last night, Smithers. You know that dream where you're in bed and they fly in through the window?

19th
Mr. Burns: He's the perfect 1 2 suckle at my proverbial teat.

I actually got the calander 4 Chrissie, but I think it's from House of Frasier (sp?).
Tis a calander where you pull off the sheets of paper, I've kept them 4 this type of occasion.

[Lugi@]

20th January:

"You've gotta come back Mel,we're a team!"

"No,Krusty.You always treated me shabbily.On our last show you poured liquid nitrogen down my pants and cracked my buttocks with a hammer."

[Y2D]

That's wrong. You don't know who said what...And stay away from my thread!

[Y2D]

22nd
Ned Flanders: Why me, Lord? where have I gone wrong? I've always been nice to people! I don't drink or dance or swear! I've even kept kosher just to be on the safe side! I've done everything the Bible says; even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! What more can I do?

23rd (This is hilarious!)
Bart-Bart: Gee, Homie, it's not very nice to maul Ranger Ned.
Homie: You want some of this?!?

24th
Milhouse: I have nothing to offer you but my love.
Mr Burns.: I specifically said, "No geeks!"
Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool.

[Edited by Y2D on 24-01-2001 at 08:38 PM]

[Y2D]

25th
Mr. Burns: Ah, 206 bones, fifty miles of small intestines, full, pouting lips. Why, this fellow is less a snowman than a God.

[Y2D]

26th
Spud: Hey, check this out. I can unhinge all my joints at once. Doing anything tonight, Blue-Eyes?
Lisa: Ew...

27th/28th
Homer/Apu/Moe: You can do it, Otto/You can do it, Otto!
Apu: Make this spare, I'll give you free gelato!
Moe: Then back to my place where I will get you blotto!
Homer: Domo arigato, Mister Roboto!

:laugh:

[Lugi@]

Originally posted by Y2D
That's wrong. You don't know who said what...And stay away from my thread!

I think you could work out who was speaking form the names in the dialogue.Anyway,I could'nt remember the exact words.

[Y2D]

Ok, I'm back.
29th
Ant #1: Protect the Queen!
Ant #2: Which one's the Queen?
Ant #3: I'm the Queen!
Ant #4: No, you're not!

30th (I don't get this)
Patty: Can't you do something?
Guy: Ey, surely only looks out for one guy--Surely
Patty: Sorry, Surely
Guy: Shut it

31st
Grampa: I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Thank Heaven for children.

1st February (This is a classic)
Ralph: When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar. I love you, Principal Skinner.

2nd
Principal Skinner: His brand of gum--Doublemint. Trying to double your fun, eh, Bart? Well, I'll double your detention. I wish someone was around to hear that.

[Y2D]

Damn, forgot 2days.
3rd/4th
Ned: I don't need to be told what to think--by anyone living.

[Y2D]

Does any1 want me 2 carry on with this?
If not I'll stop now as I'm getting a bit p!ssed with it.
All yall that want this 2 stay, raise yer hands......NOW!

[Professor Frink]

Fine,I'll do it

Feb 21st
Patty & Selma:Now,we own you like Siegfried owns Roy

[Wrench]

Y2D, where's that quote from, the one in your siggy, damn it, can't place it.