Grizzly Adams
27-01-2001, 01:10
Talking about religion and aircraft in the same sentence you'd be hard pushed to come up with anything. Well I'm reading Catch 22 by Joseph Heller and lo and behold guess what appears! Enjoy the following extract, made me laugh on the Tube into work :)
Set Scene. Colonel Cathcart asks the Chaplain into his office about starting the trend of saying prayers before bombing missions. Discussion ensues about what the topic of said prayers should be:
Colonel Cathcart "..... 'haven't you got anything humorous that stays away from waters and valleys and God? I'd like to keep away from the subject of religion altogether if we can.'
The chaplain was apologetic. 'I'm sory, sir, but just about all the prayers I know are rather somber in tone and make atleast some passing reference to God.'
'Then let's get some new ones. The men are already doing enough bitching about the missions I send them on without our rubbing it in with any sermons about God or death or Paradise. Why can't we take a more positive approach? Why can't we all pray for something good, like a tighter bombing pattern, for example?.'
'Well, yes, sir, I suppose so.' the chaplain answered hesitantly. 'You wouldn't even need me if that's all you wanted to do. You could do that yourself.'
'I know I could,' the colonel responded tartly. 'But what do you think you're here for? I could shop for my own food, but that's Milo's job. Your job is to lead us in prayer, and from now on you're going to lead us in a prayer for a tighter bomb pattern before every mission. Is that clear? I think a tighter bomb pattern is something really worth praying for. It will be a feather in all our caps with General Peckem. General Peckem feels it makes a much nicer aerial photgraph when the bombs explode close together.'..."
Hope you enjoyed that:)
Grizz
Set Scene. Colonel Cathcart asks the Chaplain into his office about starting the trend of saying prayers before bombing missions. Discussion ensues about what the topic of said prayers should be:
Colonel Cathcart "..... 'haven't you got anything humorous that stays away from waters and valleys and God? I'd like to keep away from the subject of religion altogether if we can.'
The chaplain was apologetic. 'I'm sory, sir, but just about all the prayers I know are rather somber in tone and make atleast some passing reference to God.'
'Then let's get some new ones. The men are already doing enough bitching about the missions I send them on without our rubbing it in with any sermons about God or death or Paradise. Why can't we take a more positive approach? Why can't we all pray for something good, like a tighter bombing pattern, for example?.'
'Well, yes, sir, I suppose so.' the chaplain answered hesitantly. 'You wouldn't even need me if that's all you wanted to do. You could do that yourself.'
'I know I could,' the colonel responded tartly. 'But what do you think you're here for? I could shop for my own food, but that's Milo's job. Your job is to lead us in prayer, and from now on you're going to lead us in a prayer for a tighter bomb pattern before every mission. Is that clear? I think a tighter bomb pattern is something really worth praying for. It will be a feather in all our caps with General Peckem. General Peckem feels it makes a much nicer aerial photgraph when the bombs explode close together.'..."
Hope you enjoyed that:)
Grizz