WeaselFierce
02-02-2001, 22:02
Read this over at DVD Debate:-
DUH CORP. REVOLUTIONIZE HOME CINEMA WITH THICKOTEXT DVD TECHNOLOGY
50 leading DVD titles to be re-issued with Thickotext enhancements
IMAGINATION, OHIO -- Duh Corporation, 'home-cinevators', today unveiled their revolutionary Thickotext system for the ultimate in home cinema realism and atmosphere.
"DVD is a fantastic format that brings the home viewer closer than ever before to the true cinematic experience," said Maxwell Pizzazz, Chairman and CEO of Duh Corp. "The advent of Thickotext will make couch potatoes believe that they are in a real live multiplex. Thickotext achieves this by simulating the experience of sharing your lounge with an audience of very stupid people, who point at the screen and add their own dialogue during the quiet bits."
An affordable and convenient solution for DVD producers, Thickotext is implemented as an additional subtitle stream on the disc. These subtitles run throughout the film, appearing at the most distracting moments, explaining obvious plot points and commenting at length on the lead actress's breasts. Thickotext is also ideal for explaining complicated films like Twister to clueless consumers who have just bought a $39.99 Banzai DVD player. Unfortunately it cannot help them put the disc the right way up in the drawer.
"No longer will you have to invite 80 total strangers into your house to achieve that real cinema feel. There is no more realistic way to watch movies at home than Thickotext, short of letting your mobile phone ring constantly and having someone behind you secretly smoking."
Read the full story to see exclusive screen shots of the first Thickotext enhanced films.
Warning: This story is not true. Instead why not go to the cinema, pick a really long film and sit next to a group of pig-ignorant people who don't understand the plotline. You can read more Reverse Spiral here.
:laugh:
DUH CORP. REVOLUTIONIZE HOME CINEMA WITH THICKOTEXT DVD TECHNOLOGY
50 leading DVD titles to be re-issued with Thickotext enhancements
IMAGINATION, OHIO -- Duh Corporation, 'home-cinevators', today unveiled their revolutionary Thickotext system for the ultimate in home cinema realism and atmosphere.
"DVD is a fantastic format that brings the home viewer closer than ever before to the true cinematic experience," said Maxwell Pizzazz, Chairman and CEO of Duh Corp. "The advent of Thickotext will make couch potatoes believe that they are in a real live multiplex. Thickotext achieves this by simulating the experience of sharing your lounge with an audience of very stupid people, who point at the screen and add their own dialogue during the quiet bits."
An affordable and convenient solution for DVD producers, Thickotext is implemented as an additional subtitle stream on the disc. These subtitles run throughout the film, appearing at the most distracting moments, explaining obvious plot points and commenting at length on the lead actress's breasts. Thickotext is also ideal for explaining complicated films like Twister to clueless consumers who have just bought a $39.99 Banzai DVD player. Unfortunately it cannot help them put the disc the right way up in the drawer.
"No longer will you have to invite 80 total strangers into your house to achieve that real cinema feel. There is no more realistic way to watch movies at home than Thickotext, short of letting your mobile phone ring constantly and having someone behind you secretly smoking."
Read the full story to see exclusive screen shots of the first Thickotext enhanced films.
Warning: This story is not true. Instead why not go to the cinema, pick a really long film and sit next to a group of pig-ignorant people who don't understand the plotline. You can read more Reverse Spiral here.
:laugh: