Gopher
06-06-2001, 23:04
When we left the story last time angel was potentially blowing everyone up with a thermal detonator………. Aka as a tennis ball.
Boba: ANGEL, DON’T DO IT
Angel: let me out of this wee room then
Boba: what?, It’s not a toilet
Angel: I know it’s not a toilet
Boba: but you said wee room
Angel: wee is small you idiot
Boba: speak in fecking English then.
Angel pretends to push some buttons on her tennis ball
Boba: NOOOOOO
Angel: let me out
Boba unlocks the door then runs off for cover; Angel throws the ball down the corridor after Boba.
Back With The Furious Four They Decide To Split Up
Gopher: I’ll go get that clipper *******
Khaz: but you’ll never defeat him and he will bore you TO DEATH
Gopher: not this time, I have a top-secret weapon
Travis: what is it
Gopher: if I told you that now it would not make mine and clippers showdown as good
Lube: that is true
Gopher: right Khaz you find angel, Trav and Lube free all the slaves you can find
Gopher runs off up a tunnel
Just then a door bursts open and Boba comes running through…followed by the tennis ball
Khaz: HOLY **** A THEORMAL DETENATOR
Khaz jumps to the floor
Lube: what the feck are you doing, it’s a fecking tennis ball!
Khaz gets up and dusts himself off
Khaz: err… yeah I knew that, I was just joking about…………... I’ll head up that way you two go back for the slaves.
Lube and Trav head off to the slaves
They Kick the door in
Naked Ladies: ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
Travis: it’s ok where here to ogle…save you
Naked Kirsten: ooooh my hero
Travis runs over and unties Naked Kirsten, Lube unties Naked Cameron
A wild cheesy guitar solo starts to play on the small radio in the corner.
Travis starts to get naked
Martin Scorsese: CUT
Trav: what the hell you playing at, this is just getting interesting
Scorsese: I think I’m doing you enough favors by directing this pile of crap
Trav: you owe me though
Scorsese: just cos you rang a few magazines and told them how to spell my name properly… personally I wasn’t arsed
Trav: DAM YOU SCORSESE
Trav jumps on scorsese and starts to beat him up
Lube: what the hell are you doing, he’s your hero
Trav: well which would you rather do… be nice to your hero or shag Kirsten Dunst
Naked Cameron: I’d say shag Kirsten Dunst…
All three guys stop dead and look at Cameron
Scorsese: Camera’s rolling, ACTION
Cameron and Kirsten get down to some rug munching…
Meanwhile Khaz finds Angel
Khaz: Angel, I’m Khazmash I’m here to rescue you
Angel: oh god not another star wars freak
Khaz: this way lets go
They run off back down the corridor….they hear a voice
The voice: if only I never had said titanic was a great film I’d never have ended up in here…
Khaz: it’s coming from in there
Angel: are we gonna take a look
Khaz: sure, I’ll break the door down
Khaz kicks in the door
Khaz: OH MY GOD IT’S SOULESS
Souless: At last I’m saved
Khaz: what the hell happened to you man
Souless: after I said I liked titanic to clipper he locked me up in this dungeon so I could “never breathe words of such blasphemy again” (Souless does air quotes)
Khaz: well we gotta get you out of here
The Three head for the nearest exit
We join Gopher in his hunt for Clipper…
Gopher: where are those voices coming from?
He spies a hole in the wall and looks through to see clipper and a woman chained to a desk
Clipper: get them finished at once or I’ll be forced to whip you some more
Mrs. Clipper: one day people will realize that I write all your posts and your actually a dumbass.
Clipper: that’s crazy woman… I am far too intellectual for that forum they will never realize the truth
Mrs. Clipper: your not, your nothing… I’m the true brains behind this operation
Clipper: SHUT IT NOW BITCH
Clipper whips his wife
Mrs. Clipper: OUCH… you just wait till I get out of here and I expose you… half of your posts were written by my worst set of students… your just too stupid to notice
Clipper whips his wife again… Suddenly the door flies open and Gopher bursts in
Clipper: ah at last we meet Gopher
Gopher: indeed Clipper, when we last met I was just the learner…
Clipper: save it… we’ve all seen the movie… YOUR GOING TO DIE GOPHER BOY
Gopher: will never defeat my top-secret weapon
Clipper: my boring speeches will defeat anything
Clipper starts up an over elaborate speech… Gopher feels his eyelids getting heavy
Gopher reaches into his pocket and pulls out……. MEG RYAN
Meg Ryan: hey there clipper baby
Clipper: AARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’M MELTING
Clippers head blows up and his body melts into the floor
Meg Ryan + Mrs. Clipper: OUR HERO
The End
Gopher takes Meg and Mrs. Clipper home to his love pad
Trav, Lube and Scorsese release the biggest selling porno film ever and become instant millionaires.
Angel, and Khaz fall in love and have oodles of kids
Boba is the only surviving henchmen and takes up refuge in his “Lucas Towers” and plots world domination… to fund such a project he starts a helmet polishing service.
Boba: :)
Gopher: do you always have to have the fecking last word?
Boba: yep :E
Gopher: dam you
Boba: :P
Gopher: STOPIT
Boba: :)
Boba: ANGEL, DON’T DO IT
Angel: let me out of this wee room then
Boba: what?, It’s not a toilet
Angel: I know it’s not a toilet
Boba: but you said wee room
Angel: wee is small you idiot
Boba: speak in fecking English then.
Angel pretends to push some buttons on her tennis ball
Boba: NOOOOOO
Angel: let me out
Boba unlocks the door then runs off for cover; Angel throws the ball down the corridor after Boba.
Back With The Furious Four They Decide To Split Up
Gopher: I’ll go get that clipper *******
Khaz: but you’ll never defeat him and he will bore you TO DEATH
Gopher: not this time, I have a top-secret weapon
Travis: what is it
Gopher: if I told you that now it would not make mine and clippers showdown as good
Lube: that is true
Gopher: right Khaz you find angel, Trav and Lube free all the slaves you can find
Gopher runs off up a tunnel
Just then a door bursts open and Boba comes running through…followed by the tennis ball
Khaz: HOLY **** A THEORMAL DETENATOR
Khaz jumps to the floor
Lube: what the feck are you doing, it’s a fecking tennis ball!
Khaz gets up and dusts himself off
Khaz: err… yeah I knew that, I was just joking about…………... I’ll head up that way you two go back for the slaves.
Lube and Trav head off to the slaves
They Kick the door in
Naked Ladies: ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
Travis: it’s ok where here to ogle…save you
Naked Kirsten: ooooh my hero
Travis runs over and unties Naked Kirsten, Lube unties Naked Cameron
A wild cheesy guitar solo starts to play on the small radio in the corner.
Travis starts to get naked
Martin Scorsese: CUT
Trav: what the hell you playing at, this is just getting interesting
Scorsese: I think I’m doing you enough favors by directing this pile of crap
Trav: you owe me though
Scorsese: just cos you rang a few magazines and told them how to spell my name properly… personally I wasn’t arsed
Trav: DAM YOU SCORSESE
Trav jumps on scorsese and starts to beat him up
Lube: what the hell are you doing, he’s your hero
Trav: well which would you rather do… be nice to your hero or shag Kirsten Dunst
Naked Cameron: I’d say shag Kirsten Dunst…
All three guys stop dead and look at Cameron
Scorsese: Camera’s rolling, ACTION
Cameron and Kirsten get down to some rug munching…
Meanwhile Khaz finds Angel
Khaz: Angel, I’m Khazmash I’m here to rescue you
Angel: oh god not another star wars freak
Khaz: this way lets go
They run off back down the corridor….they hear a voice
The voice: if only I never had said titanic was a great film I’d never have ended up in here…
Khaz: it’s coming from in there
Angel: are we gonna take a look
Khaz: sure, I’ll break the door down
Khaz kicks in the door
Khaz: OH MY GOD IT’S SOULESS
Souless: At last I’m saved
Khaz: what the hell happened to you man
Souless: after I said I liked titanic to clipper he locked me up in this dungeon so I could “never breathe words of such blasphemy again” (Souless does air quotes)
Khaz: well we gotta get you out of here
The Three head for the nearest exit
We join Gopher in his hunt for Clipper…
Gopher: where are those voices coming from?
He spies a hole in the wall and looks through to see clipper and a woman chained to a desk
Clipper: get them finished at once or I’ll be forced to whip you some more
Mrs. Clipper: one day people will realize that I write all your posts and your actually a dumbass.
Clipper: that’s crazy woman… I am far too intellectual for that forum they will never realize the truth
Mrs. Clipper: your not, your nothing… I’m the true brains behind this operation
Clipper: SHUT IT NOW BITCH
Clipper whips his wife
Mrs. Clipper: OUCH… you just wait till I get out of here and I expose you… half of your posts were written by my worst set of students… your just too stupid to notice
Clipper whips his wife again… Suddenly the door flies open and Gopher bursts in
Clipper: ah at last we meet Gopher
Gopher: indeed Clipper, when we last met I was just the learner…
Clipper: save it… we’ve all seen the movie… YOUR GOING TO DIE GOPHER BOY
Gopher: will never defeat my top-secret weapon
Clipper: my boring speeches will defeat anything
Clipper starts up an over elaborate speech… Gopher feels his eyelids getting heavy
Gopher reaches into his pocket and pulls out……. MEG RYAN
Meg Ryan: hey there clipper baby
Clipper: AARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’M MELTING
Clippers head blows up and his body melts into the floor
Meg Ryan + Mrs. Clipper: OUR HERO
The End
Gopher takes Meg and Mrs. Clipper home to his love pad
Trav, Lube and Scorsese release the biggest selling porno film ever and become instant millionaires.
Angel, and Khaz fall in love and have oodles of kids
Boba is the only surviving henchmen and takes up refuge in his “Lucas Towers” and plots world domination… to fund such a project he starts a helmet polishing service.
Boba: :)
Gopher: do you always have to have the fecking last word?
Boba: yep :E
Gopher: dam you
Boba: :P
Gopher: STOPIT
Boba: :)