Izzeh
21-06-2001, 22:06
Dis is my favorite story from an RPG I used to play (Vampire the masquerade) and I fort I wud post it :D
It wont be as funny to people who have no idea what gangrels and malkavians and saaaing are but its still gude :E
I is a Malkie :D
"Once upon a Time, there were seven blind bats, Or 13 ... I forget. Anyway, they were a bit hungry for fresh blood, because they were Vampire blind bats, so they looked around for something to bite. Except they couldn't look around, as they were blind, which you should have realised already.
But their unnerringly keen senses of smell led them to a plump, juicy, blood-filled Elephant ---- which in this story stands for all of reality. Got it?
The Gangrel bat bumped into the tail and said, Aha! This Elephant is really a twitching animal! That is what I shall become.
The Brujah broke his fangs trying to bite the hoof and said, Aha! The Elephant is like a hard stony, insensinate pestle that crushes all beneath it with pitiless abandon! That is what I shall become.
The Nosferatu flew into the Elephants ass and said, Aha! The Elephant is really a wrinkled, stinky, puckered, dessicated mass that lives in a dank cave! That is what I shall become!
The Tremere bit the head and said, Aha! The Elephant is really a puny little brain struggling to control a vast and powerful body! That is what I shall become!
The Ventrue felt the legs and said, Aha! The Elephant is really a powerful, upstanding pillar that can bear all weight with strength, but with very little suppleness or resiliance! That is what I shall become!
The Toreador felt the Trunk and mouth and said, Aha! The Elephant is really a great, firm shaft or a warm moist hole! That is what I shall become!
And the Malkavian bat, blinder than all the rest, swooped down and managed to miss the entire Elephant. Aha! said the benighted Malkavian, as it flapped past. The others are making a huge fuss over a huge Elephant that is really a big lot of nothing! Well, that is what I shall become!
And so, I say unto you, flap on!"
Rah! :D
It wont be as funny to people who have no idea what gangrels and malkavians and saaaing are but its still gude :E
I is a Malkie :D
"Once upon a Time, there were seven blind bats, Or 13 ... I forget. Anyway, they were a bit hungry for fresh blood, because they were Vampire blind bats, so they looked around for something to bite. Except they couldn't look around, as they were blind, which you should have realised already.
But their unnerringly keen senses of smell led them to a plump, juicy, blood-filled Elephant ---- which in this story stands for all of reality. Got it?
The Gangrel bat bumped into the tail and said, Aha! This Elephant is really a twitching animal! That is what I shall become.
The Brujah broke his fangs trying to bite the hoof and said, Aha! The Elephant is like a hard stony, insensinate pestle that crushes all beneath it with pitiless abandon! That is what I shall become.
The Nosferatu flew into the Elephants ass and said, Aha! The Elephant is really a wrinkled, stinky, puckered, dessicated mass that lives in a dank cave! That is what I shall become!
The Tremere bit the head and said, Aha! The Elephant is really a puny little brain struggling to control a vast and powerful body! That is what I shall become!
The Ventrue felt the legs and said, Aha! The Elephant is really a powerful, upstanding pillar that can bear all weight with strength, but with very little suppleness or resiliance! That is what I shall become!
The Toreador felt the Trunk and mouth and said, Aha! The Elephant is really a great, firm shaft or a warm moist hole! That is what I shall become!
And the Malkavian bat, blinder than all the rest, swooped down and managed to miss the entire Elephant. Aha! said the benighted Malkavian, as it flapped past. The others are making a huge fuss over a huge Elephant that is really a big lot of nothing! Well, that is what I shall become!
And so, I say unto you, flap on!"
Rah! :D