JackG2
26-06-2001, 05:43
TIME TEETER
BY JACKG2
Author's note: Some of us like to choose are fate... inevatably not makeing it fate at all... It makes it into a low rated story by a low rated man.
(Normandy opens the door to see a mailman standing in the open door, holding a letter in his hand.)
Mail Man: (singing) I am your singing chain letter! You shut this door now, then you'll be sorry later!
(Normandy, who is tired, slams the door in the mail man's face.)
(Normandy turns back to his newspaper, which says in big letters, 2 PEEPS KNOCK OFF POSTOFFICE)
(Glitter2k pops up behind Mandy.)
Glitter2k: Mandy! Don't you know it's bad luck to close the door on a singing chain letter?!
Normady: What are you doing in my apartment?
Glitter2k: You really were drunk last night, weren't you?
(Normady thinks back to last night.)
Normandy: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Opps. Sorry.
Glitter2k: Isn't the first time.
(Mandy looks at Glitter in a strange way.)
Normandy: Anyway, don't you understand? There are two types of chain letters. The one they mail to you and the one they sing to you. If you throw the letter in the trash then you get bad luck. But not if you close the door on singing.
Glitter2k: But he sang "You shut the door now, then you'll be sorry later!"
Normandy: It's all superstistion, just like the black cat thing.
(Mandy turns to the black cat on the shelf behind him, giving the cat the evil eye.)
Normandy: Isn't that right, Scruffy?
Scruffy: Meow.
Glitter2k: Once again, you have bulit a resisted wall of crap around you.
Normandy: And it smells real bad too..... well, I'm off to start on my breakthrough invention. A time mechine!
Glitter2k: When did you start working on a time mechine?
Normandy: Since last night. That little "escapade" gave me a creative ability while drunk.
Glitter2k: I do my best.
Normandy: (strange look) .....kay..... Well, off I go!
(Later, in Mandy's basement, Mandy is putting the finshing touches on his time mechine.)
Normandy: One more screw.... there! My time mechine is finshed!
(The mechine looks like the portal out of Stargate.)
(The cat wonders in, with something in it's paws.)
Scruffy: Meow!
Normandy: What do you want, Scruffy?
(Mandy turns around to see Scruffy with his gun in between it's paws.)
Normandy: Scruffy! How'd you get my gun out of my draw!
(The cat cocks the gun back, and shoots Normandy in the side.)
(Normandy clinches his side as the blood flows.)
Normandy: Scruffy! Why?
(Mandy falls to the ground. Bleeding.)
Normandy: Oh no... the world is slipping away... I'm dieing... what wil... oh! Hey! A nickel!
(Mandy takes the nickel.)
Normandy: Aw, man! It's only play money! DAMN THAT CHAIN SINGER!! IT'S ALL HIS FAULT FOR MY LUCK!!!
(Glitter opens the door to the basement, with Barrieuk1 behind her, who she invited over, mind you.)
Glitter2k: I heard a shot. What's going on?
(Glitter sees Normandy bleeding on the ground.)
Glitter2k: MANDY!!!
Barrieuk1: I'm hungry.
Glitter2k: Yeah. Me too. Lets get a pizza.
Normandy: Wait! Glitter! You and Barrieuk must go back in time and stop the chain letter from being sung! And I'll pay for 2 pizzas if you do it!
Glitter2k: We'll do it for 3 pizzas.
Barrieuk1: (under his breath) I'd do it for money.
Normandy: Okay! Okay! Just do it!!
(After a good bit..)
Normandy: Then press that and that... and lastly that!
Glitter2k: (sigh)
(The time portal comes to life. Looking like the water effects in Stargate.)
Glitter2k: Woah!
Barriuek1: I smell lawsuit!
Normandy: Go now! And god speed!
(Glitter and Barrieuk jump in the portal and disappear.)
(Normandy is alone on the floor. Then the cat walks in.)
Normandy: So like I was saying.... the Kibbles and Bits commercial is too overrated for dogs....
Scruffy: Meow.
(5 mintues before the mail man sang to Normandy.)
(Glitter and Barrieuk land on there noses out side Mandy's house.)
Glitter2k: We made it! We're in the past!
(The mail truck pulls up.)
Barriuek1: That's strange.... he's five mins early.
(The door to the truck opens up and the mail man walks out.)
Mail Man: Do De Do Do!
(Barrieuk and Glitter stop in front of him.)
Barriuek1: Okay! Stop right there!
Glitter2k: And hand over the chainletter!
Mail Man: Oh! You want this letter, huh?
(He points to the letter in his hand.)
(Then he brings out two big swords he had stashed in the truck.)
Barrieuk1 and Glitter2k at the same time: OH CRAP!!!
Mail Man: (holds up his swords in martial arts movie fashion) Bring it on!
(Barrieuk does a high flying kick, but the mail man blocks e'm with the swords. But without watching, Glitter ducks under and punches the mail man hard in the agenda. The mail man puts his graud down for a mintue. Just enough for Barriuek to do another high fly kick right into his face. Doing so, the swords fall from the mail man's hands. Flipping, Barrieuk grabs one sword, and ducking, Glitter grabs the other. Then they both pose in front of the mail man.)
Barriuek1: Give us the chain letter!
Mail Man: No way!
(Barrieuk and Glitter look and nod at each other. Then they go charging directly towards the mail man. The mail man lifts both his arms, and Glitter and Barriuek crash into his arms, and flip onto the ground. Knocked out.)
(The mail man walks off towards the door of the house with letter in hand.)
(20 mintues later.)
(Glitter comes crashing through the front door with Barriuek behind her. They are still woozy from being knocked out.)
Glitter2k: Come on!
(They pass by Normandy who is bandaged around his waist.)
Normandy: Hi, guys.
Glitter2k: (running past him without a thought) Not now, Mandy. We need to go back in time again!
(They head downstairs, leaving Normandy alone.)
Normandy: But they sloved the probelm 15 minutes ago...or was that another one of them?
(3 mintues before Normandy gets shot.)
(Glitter and Barriuek fall out the portal to a surprised Normandy, working on the time mechine.)
Normandy: What the hell?!
Glitter2k: Not now, Mandy. We have to prevent something!
(Barriuek and Glitter run up the stairs and out the basement.)
Normandy: Pfffft.... Guess it's no sweat off my sack. Besides, in 3 minutes, I'll be done with this thing.
(Upstairs in Mandy's room)
(Barriuek is holding a black jacket and a super soaker.)
(Glitter is rummaging through the draw for another super soaker.)
Barriuek1: So we're going to knock off the post office before they deliver the letter?
Glitter2k: (pulling out a super soaker) Yup. I just had to return to this time to pick up something I found before this all happened.
(She pulls out a can of pepper spray.)
Glitter2k: Pepper spray!
(Barriuek pulls out Mandy's gun in the draw.)
Barriuek1: Hey! We can use this gun!
Glitter2k: No! We are not killing anyone!
Barriuek1: Okay, I'll dump it!
(Barriuek drops it on the floor.)
Glitter2k: (loading the super soakers with pepper spray) Let's get ready and then head for the mechine.
Barriuek1: Okay.
(Behind them, Scruffy walks in and picks up the gun and walks out.)
(4 mintues after Mandy got shot, Barruiek and Glitter walk down to the basement and to the time portal. Mandy, who is bleeding watces them.)
Normandy: Hey! You guys are back! What happened?
Glitter2k: We just got to knock off the post office!
(They walk though the portal and disappear.)
Normandy: Knock off the post office?
(Mandy looks at his newspaper laying next to him.)
(It says 2 PEEPS KNOCK OFF POSTOFFICE.)
Normandy: Uh-Oh!
(Yesterday, the post office)
(Barriuek and Glitter walk in, with a black suitcase in Glitter's hand. The scence mostly looks like the lobby scence in the Matrix, and there dressed up like that too.)
(The mail woman by the mail detector looks at them.)
Mail Woman: Please check your mail here.
(Glitter plops the black suitcase on the rail for the mail detector)
(The detector rings loudly screaming, NOT MAIL!! NOT MAIL!!!)
(The mail woman gets up to stop Glitter. But Glitter punches her back, makeing her fly to the wall.)
(Then a mail man runs up behind Glitter, but before he could get to her, Barriuek shoots him in the eyes with the pepper spray gun.)
Mail Man: (rubbing his eyes) AGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
(The elevator makes a ding sound, and Glitter and Barriuek turn to face it.)
(The doors open and a bunch of ninjas come out.)
Barrieuk1 and Glitter2k together: NINJAS!!
Glitter2k: Well, it's Matrix v.s. Hidden Dragon!
Barrieuk1: Let's do it!
(Glitter brings out 2 guns and shoots two ninjas, Jhon Woo style. The ninjas rub there eyes in pain.)
(Barriuek does a big flip while shooting 3 ninjas at the same time.)
(He lands perfectly behind a piller, where a ninja sword strikes behind the piller.)
(Barriuek sees a Ninja trowing a sword at Glitter.)
Barrieuk1: Glitter! Watch out!!!
(Glitter does the famous Matrix duck down as the swords swish by her.)
(Then she jumps up and does the famous Matrix kick in front of the ninja, and just as she's ready to kick, the ninja grabs her leg and brings her flying to the floor hard.)
(Then a ninja knocks out Barriuek with his elbow.)
(The next day, which is 13 mintues after Normandy got shot, a police car stops in front of the house, letting Glitter and Barriuek out.)
Police Officer: Don't pull off a crazy stunt like that again!
(The cop drives off.)
Glitter2k: We almost changed time!
Barriuek1: Too bad. I guess Normandy will die afterall.
Glitter: Hey! Look!
(Laying in the yard is the other Barrieuk and Glitter still conked out from the fight with the mail man.)
Glitter2k: Time travel can be a weird thing.
(Glitter and Barriuek walk in the house.)
Glitter2k: Mandy! We failed! Sorry!
(But Glitter sees Mandy standing there with a bullet hole in his side, with dried up blood.)
Glitter2k: Mandy! Your okay!
Normandy: Yeah. The pain isn't that bad right now.
(Glitter gets a better look at the bullet wound.)
Glitter2k: Well, no wonder! The bullet only scrathed you!
Normandy: Could we still bandage it?
(After 3 mintues, Mandy is bandaged around the waist.)
Normandy: I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN!!!
Glitter2k: Yeah, right. And me and Barriuek went through all that pain for nothing!
(Barriuek and Glitter leave the house, angerly.)
(After a few more mintues, Glitter busts trough the door, running by Normandy with Barrieuk behind her.)
Glitter2k: Come on!
Normandy: Hi, guys!
Glitter2k: (running past him without a thought) Not now, Mandy. We need to go back in time again!
(They head downstairs, leaving Normandy alone.)
Normandy: But they sloved the probelm 15 minutes ago...or was that another one of them? Aw, well! Time travel is a weird thing!
Scruffy: Meow!
Normandy: Aw, Scruffy! There you are! You have a date with the devil!
(Normandy pulls out his gun and points it at Scruffy. He pulls the trigger.)
POW!
Normandy: Gah! I sot my foot!
Scruffy: Meow!
Normandy: Oh, shut up.
THE END
(No animals were harmed in the makeing of this story except for Normandy. )
BY JACKG2
Author's note: Some of us like to choose are fate... inevatably not makeing it fate at all... It makes it into a low rated story by a low rated man.
(Normandy opens the door to see a mailman standing in the open door, holding a letter in his hand.)
Mail Man: (singing) I am your singing chain letter! You shut this door now, then you'll be sorry later!
(Normandy, who is tired, slams the door in the mail man's face.)
(Normandy turns back to his newspaper, which says in big letters, 2 PEEPS KNOCK OFF POSTOFFICE)
(Glitter2k pops up behind Mandy.)
Glitter2k: Mandy! Don't you know it's bad luck to close the door on a singing chain letter?!
Normady: What are you doing in my apartment?
Glitter2k: You really were drunk last night, weren't you?
(Normady thinks back to last night.)
Normandy: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Opps. Sorry.
Glitter2k: Isn't the first time.
(Mandy looks at Glitter in a strange way.)
Normandy: Anyway, don't you understand? There are two types of chain letters. The one they mail to you and the one they sing to you. If you throw the letter in the trash then you get bad luck. But not if you close the door on singing.
Glitter2k: But he sang "You shut the door now, then you'll be sorry later!"
Normandy: It's all superstistion, just like the black cat thing.
(Mandy turns to the black cat on the shelf behind him, giving the cat the evil eye.)
Normandy: Isn't that right, Scruffy?
Scruffy: Meow.
Glitter2k: Once again, you have bulit a resisted wall of crap around you.
Normandy: And it smells real bad too..... well, I'm off to start on my breakthrough invention. A time mechine!
Glitter2k: When did you start working on a time mechine?
Normandy: Since last night. That little "escapade" gave me a creative ability while drunk.
Glitter2k: I do my best.
Normandy: (strange look) .....kay..... Well, off I go!
(Later, in Mandy's basement, Mandy is putting the finshing touches on his time mechine.)
Normandy: One more screw.... there! My time mechine is finshed!
(The mechine looks like the portal out of Stargate.)
(The cat wonders in, with something in it's paws.)
Scruffy: Meow!
Normandy: What do you want, Scruffy?
(Mandy turns around to see Scruffy with his gun in between it's paws.)
Normandy: Scruffy! How'd you get my gun out of my draw!
(The cat cocks the gun back, and shoots Normandy in the side.)
(Normandy clinches his side as the blood flows.)
Normandy: Scruffy! Why?
(Mandy falls to the ground. Bleeding.)
Normandy: Oh no... the world is slipping away... I'm dieing... what wil... oh! Hey! A nickel!
(Mandy takes the nickel.)
Normandy: Aw, man! It's only play money! DAMN THAT CHAIN SINGER!! IT'S ALL HIS FAULT FOR MY LUCK!!!
(Glitter opens the door to the basement, with Barrieuk1 behind her, who she invited over, mind you.)
Glitter2k: I heard a shot. What's going on?
(Glitter sees Normandy bleeding on the ground.)
Glitter2k: MANDY!!!
Barrieuk1: I'm hungry.
Glitter2k: Yeah. Me too. Lets get a pizza.
Normandy: Wait! Glitter! You and Barrieuk must go back in time and stop the chain letter from being sung! And I'll pay for 2 pizzas if you do it!
Glitter2k: We'll do it for 3 pizzas.
Barrieuk1: (under his breath) I'd do it for money.
Normandy: Okay! Okay! Just do it!!
(After a good bit..)
Normandy: Then press that and that... and lastly that!
Glitter2k: (sigh)
(The time portal comes to life. Looking like the water effects in Stargate.)
Glitter2k: Woah!
Barriuek1: I smell lawsuit!
Normandy: Go now! And god speed!
(Glitter and Barrieuk jump in the portal and disappear.)
(Normandy is alone on the floor. Then the cat walks in.)
Normandy: So like I was saying.... the Kibbles and Bits commercial is too overrated for dogs....
Scruffy: Meow.
(5 mintues before the mail man sang to Normandy.)
(Glitter and Barrieuk land on there noses out side Mandy's house.)
Glitter2k: We made it! We're in the past!
(The mail truck pulls up.)
Barriuek1: That's strange.... he's five mins early.
(The door to the truck opens up and the mail man walks out.)
Mail Man: Do De Do Do!
(Barrieuk and Glitter stop in front of him.)
Barriuek1: Okay! Stop right there!
Glitter2k: And hand over the chainletter!
Mail Man: Oh! You want this letter, huh?
(He points to the letter in his hand.)
(Then he brings out two big swords he had stashed in the truck.)
Barrieuk1 and Glitter2k at the same time: OH CRAP!!!
Mail Man: (holds up his swords in martial arts movie fashion) Bring it on!
(Barrieuk does a high flying kick, but the mail man blocks e'm with the swords. But without watching, Glitter ducks under and punches the mail man hard in the agenda. The mail man puts his graud down for a mintue. Just enough for Barriuek to do another high fly kick right into his face. Doing so, the swords fall from the mail man's hands. Flipping, Barrieuk grabs one sword, and ducking, Glitter grabs the other. Then they both pose in front of the mail man.)
Barriuek1: Give us the chain letter!
Mail Man: No way!
(Barrieuk and Glitter look and nod at each other. Then they go charging directly towards the mail man. The mail man lifts both his arms, and Glitter and Barriuek crash into his arms, and flip onto the ground. Knocked out.)
(The mail man walks off towards the door of the house with letter in hand.)
(20 mintues later.)
(Glitter comes crashing through the front door with Barriuek behind her. They are still woozy from being knocked out.)
Glitter2k: Come on!
(They pass by Normandy who is bandaged around his waist.)
Normandy: Hi, guys.
Glitter2k: (running past him without a thought) Not now, Mandy. We need to go back in time again!
(They head downstairs, leaving Normandy alone.)
Normandy: But they sloved the probelm 15 minutes ago...or was that another one of them?
(3 mintues before Normandy gets shot.)
(Glitter and Barriuek fall out the portal to a surprised Normandy, working on the time mechine.)
Normandy: What the hell?!
Glitter2k: Not now, Mandy. We have to prevent something!
(Barriuek and Glitter run up the stairs and out the basement.)
Normandy: Pfffft.... Guess it's no sweat off my sack. Besides, in 3 minutes, I'll be done with this thing.
(Upstairs in Mandy's room)
(Barriuek is holding a black jacket and a super soaker.)
(Glitter is rummaging through the draw for another super soaker.)
Barriuek1: So we're going to knock off the post office before they deliver the letter?
Glitter2k: (pulling out a super soaker) Yup. I just had to return to this time to pick up something I found before this all happened.
(She pulls out a can of pepper spray.)
Glitter2k: Pepper spray!
(Barriuek pulls out Mandy's gun in the draw.)
Barriuek1: Hey! We can use this gun!
Glitter2k: No! We are not killing anyone!
Barriuek1: Okay, I'll dump it!
(Barriuek drops it on the floor.)
Glitter2k: (loading the super soakers with pepper spray) Let's get ready and then head for the mechine.
Barriuek1: Okay.
(Behind them, Scruffy walks in and picks up the gun and walks out.)
(4 mintues after Mandy got shot, Barruiek and Glitter walk down to the basement and to the time portal. Mandy, who is bleeding watces them.)
Normandy: Hey! You guys are back! What happened?
Glitter2k: We just got to knock off the post office!
(They walk though the portal and disappear.)
Normandy: Knock off the post office?
(Mandy looks at his newspaper laying next to him.)
(It says 2 PEEPS KNOCK OFF POSTOFFICE.)
Normandy: Uh-Oh!
(Yesterday, the post office)
(Barriuek and Glitter walk in, with a black suitcase in Glitter's hand. The scence mostly looks like the lobby scence in the Matrix, and there dressed up like that too.)
(The mail woman by the mail detector looks at them.)
Mail Woman: Please check your mail here.
(Glitter plops the black suitcase on the rail for the mail detector)
(The detector rings loudly screaming, NOT MAIL!! NOT MAIL!!!)
(The mail woman gets up to stop Glitter. But Glitter punches her back, makeing her fly to the wall.)
(Then a mail man runs up behind Glitter, but before he could get to her, Barriuek shoots him in the eyes with the pepper spray gun.)
Mail Man: (rubbing his eyes) AGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
(The elevator makes a ding sound, and Glitter and Barriuek turn to face it.)
(The doors open and a bunch of ninjas come out.)
Barrieuk1 and Glitter2k together: NINJAS!!
Glitter2k: Well, it's Matrix v.s. Hidden Dragon!
Barrieuk1: Let's do it!
(Glitter brings out 2 guns and shoots two ninjas, Jhon Woo style. The ninjas rub there eyes in pain.)
(Barriuek does a big flip while shooting 3 ninjas at the same time.)
(He lands perfectly behind a piller, where a ninja sword strikes behind the piller.)
(Barriuek sees a Ninja trowing a sword at Glitter.)
Barrieuk1: Glitter! Watch out!!!
(Glitter does the famous Matrix duck down as the swords swish by her.)
(Then she jumps up and does the famous Matrix kick in front of the ninja, and just as she's ready to kick, the ninja grabs her leg and brings her flying to the floor hard.)
(Then a ninja knocks out Barriuek with his elbow.)
(The next day, which is 13 mintues after Normandy got shot, a police car stops in front of the house, letting Glitter and Barriuek out.)
Police Officer: Don't pull off a crazy stunt like that again!
(The cop drives off.)
Glitter2k: We almost changed time!
Barriuek1: Too bad. I guess Normandy will die afterall.
Glitter: Hey! Look!
(Laying in the yard is the other Barrieuk and Glitter still conked out from the fight with the mail man.)
Glitter2k: Time travel can be a weird thing.
(Glitter and Barriuek walk in the house.)
Glitter2k: Mandy! We failed! Sorry!
(But Glitter sees Mandy standing there with a bullet hole in his side, with dried up blood.)
Glitter2k: Mandy! Your okay!
Normandy: Yeah. The pain isn't that bad right now.
(Glitter gets a better look at the bullet wound.)
Glitter2k: Well, no wonder! The bullet only scrathed you!
Normandy: Could we still bandage it?
(After 3 mintues, Mandy is bandaged around the waist.)
Normandy: I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN!!!
Glitter2k: Yeah, right. And me and Barriuek went through all that pain for nothing!
(Barriuek and Glitter leave the house, angerly.)
(After a few more mintues, Glitter busts trough the door, running by Normandy with Barrieuk behind her.)
Glitter2k: Come on!
Normandy: Hi, guys!
Glitter2k: (running past him without a thought) Not now, Mandy. We need to go back in time again!
(They head downstairs, leaving Normandy alone.)
Normandy: But they sloved the probelm 15 minutes ago...or was that another one of them? Aw, well! Time travel is a weird thing!
Scruffy: Meow!
Normandy: Aw, Scruffy! There you are! You have a date with the devil!
(Normandy pulls out his gun and points it at Scruffy. He pulls the trigger.)
POW!
Normandy: Gah! I sot my foot!
Scruffy: Meow!
Normandy: Oh, shut up.
THE END
(No animals were harmed in the makeing of this story except for Normandy. )