View Full Version : Bounty...the super soaker upper?
Well in an attempt to justify the advert on telly I have been doing research on this subject..entitled...
"Is it a super soaker upper or a load of crock?"
First test in a related dishwasher incident, spillage occured during a routine unloading operation.
Bounty was applied to the area..the result....hand went straight through onto kitchen tile and frankly the results were a little disappointing.
Second test...cat was sick on the carpet in the lounge after too much grass eating on excursion to back garden.
Once again bounty was applied...and the same result occured...hand covered in sticky solution and bits of grass, once again disappointment occured.
Third test consisted of me spilling tea all over the TV guide in a shocking case of -oh feck its dark and I cant see where Im going.
Bounty was applied liberally to the problem causing a rather nice white splodgy mess on the carpet and normal kitchen towel was applied to said problem to rectify the mess. Result -TV guide came off worse, carpet not bad when dried out.
So overall results are as follows...
Bounty equals utter pap....holding it over tap and wringing it like in advert causes it to fall apart.....normal kitchen towel or sleeve of jumper provides better solution to small accidents......as of yet the kleenex test is still undergoing research....
This shocking revelation brought to you by someone with far too much time on their hands.
Ooooooh...
For your next test can you see if those personal loan companies really make you instantly able to afford a new car with no guilt what so ever despite being utterly broke?
Briggerz
26-02-2002, 13:50
ive got an even better test for him.
anyone remmeber the adverts for the wallpaper paste(or glue, whatever), the one wear they stuck an all in one overall to a wooden board, a bloke(excuse the pun :) ) got inside then theycarried it through the air with a helicopter?
ill like to know if that one works please :E
Im on the case already......wallpaper glue and loan companies are targetted.
hmmm wallpaper paste..me found some solvite, think that was the name of the stuff.
In a controlled experiment with a very old action man from the loft, the one with the blue pants...never liked them much but its a fashion statement init....
Anywho said action man, shall we call him Derek, was found dressed as Steve Austin for some unknown reason, and was heavily smeared with the paste then a large piece of MDF, exact dimensions 10 " by 3", was slapped on his back and left to dry.
Didnt take long to dry the paste and a small hook was inserted into the wood and rope attached securely using best boy scout knots.
Climbing up the stairs and opening the top window i gently eased Derek out over the ledge and lowered him a few feet down.
Making sure no one could see me I then started to swing him violently around and the paste held in place, but Dereks arm came off....a sad and deeply shocking loss to him.
The results of the test prove that solvite wallpaper paste does in fact stick MDF to action man and holds with ease...I think the follow up of man stuck to mini roof going round car park will be more difficult to arrange though.
A satisfacory result for my tests...but a loss for Derek, his blue pants held up though so at least he held his dignity.
This test once again brought to you by ...oh you know the rest.
In my next controlled experiment i shall be seeing wether its the 10th pint that makes you horribly drunk or the previous 9...tape recorder evidence will substantiate my claims as i wont remember a thing after said experiment.
Briggerz
26-02-2002, 14:31
Originally posted by Blitz Bloke
Making sure no one could see me I then started to swing him violently
rofl :laugh:
I would be interested to learn if washing machines do indeed live longer with calgon :D
:laugh: excellent research. I think however you should now test the amazing cleaning abilities of certain household cleaning products - such as the mr muscle and flash that removes muck in a single wipe. Also the Vanish ad that completely disolves the spilt wine.
Also the advert for the face cleaning wipes thing with the woman as a clown, who wipes her makeup with one wipe and it instantly removes all traces of makeup. Photo evidence required to prove you are applying makeup to yourself.
Once again i shall meet these challenges in controlled laboratory conditions..ie me garage.
What I want to know (and fear knowing) is....
Did Bloke dress up like the 'chaps' in the Bounty Ad.s ... perhaps you have to be wearing a wig, skirt and heels for it to work??
Any comment Bloke?? :naughty:
PS. For those of you now huddled in a corner in a deep state of shock due to the unimaginable terror that is Bloke in a wig... sorry.
Due to the lack of make up, and the wifes cloths wouldnt fit, I had to dress as normal..well as normal as I dress anyway, for those at i9 I was the hulking smeg wandering around in a rather smelly pair of knackered trainers, trakky bottoms and black/sweaty t shirt.
Bet mikkk wishes hed changed the seating arrangements now hehe.
For those interested I have started the lager/bitter test.....and Im now hungry, expect kebab/curry details to follow..
Well no doubt youve all been waiting with baited breath for this...or maybe not..
The official results for.."Is it the 10 pint that makes you ill or the previous 9" question.
In a controlled environment, ie me bedroom, I started said task..along with Derek from the previous experiment.
8.42 pm....1st pint...results, none.
8.55 pm....2nd pint...results, went to the loo.
9.10 pm..3rd pint...results, none but did start to get hungry.
9.28 pm...4th pint..results, noticable ease in mouth movements towards anyone who is near, peanuts were eaten.
9.45 pm...5th pint...results..loo again, more peanuts and a warm swimmy feeling inside.
Derek seems untouched by the alchohol, then realise hes a piece of plastic and giggle like a girl for 10 minutes.
10.15 pm 6th pint..noticable slowdown in motor actions, found last of the summer wine amusing on telly, a result which surprised me..i mean how many times can you laugh at a chap in wellies going down a hill in a bath?
10.38 7th pint...feelings of warmth spreading, bladder loosening.
11.05 8th pint...wooziness followed by slight room spin.
Derek ended up in the bath for some reason at this point.
11.21 9th pint...the need for food increases, send wife out for kebab then realise I wasnt hungry after all.
11.50..10th pint...definate room spin and feelings of nausea when sitting still.
The results show that its defiantely the 10 th pint that causes the most trouble here, the previous 9 seemed to be fine.
Remeber kids dont try this at home, the experiment was done under strict operational conditions and drinking loads isnt really very good for you...youll end up like me...
In the next thrilling installment I shall bring you the answer to "do washing machines live longer with calgon?" and the results are quite surprising.
This post brought to you by someone with far too much time on his hands and kebab meat stuck in his nails.
Originally posted by Blitz Bloke
In the next thrilling installment I shall bring you the answer to "do washing machines live longer with calgon?" and the results are quite surprising.
RAH :D
/me keeps refrshing this thread
"Do washing machines live longer with Calgon"
This issue is burning away in the publics mind and this test finally answers said question.
My first thought was to find a calgon user to question about its reported wonder use, me mum sprung to mind.
Follows a transcript of conversation...
"Hi its me"
"What do you want then...ive got no money"
"No no no, im researching if calgon does indeed lengthen the life of your washing machine"
"Eh?"
"Well does it?"
"Dont you have anything better to do?..oh by the way ive got rid of that stain from your boxer shorts"
"Ahem....erm...gotta go the cats having a nervous breakdown...bye"
Obviously these results were unacceptable so I ventured to the local tip along with Derek to find out if the fabled prophecy was indeed true.
Arriving at the tip I asked the nice man if any old washing machines were present....he pointed in the general direction of a large skip and went back to reading his copy of "Big norks monthly".
On insepection of the skip I found many lost and battered washing machines, each with a sad story to tell...broken door, pipe fell off the back, small childs toy lodged in the drum, but none had the hard limescale water buildup contaminating the drum rim which of course calgon would remove.
Once home i set up a controlled experiment in the garage using :
A) water from tap
B) calgon tablet
C) nicked the small girls next door barbie washing machine
D) dereks steve austin outfit-for wash purposes
These items were set up, and i spun the little handle on the side of the machine to turn the contents.
The result was a frothing mess which spread across the workbench and onto the floor-totally knackering the small washing machine, which I now have to source for said small girl as her dads a big lad and i dont want to upset him.
In conclusion...Calgon does indeed lengthen the life of a washing machine, removing lime scale, but on a plastic toy its not advisable.
Derek is now wearing a german army uniform as his steve austin out fit was ruined by the effects of the experiment...he is not overjoyed but likes the fit of the trousers and hes taken to wearing the hat at a jaunty angle...ponce.
Once agin this incredible result brought to you by a bored chap with no mates.....sniff.
I can now sleep easy at nights!
hmmmm blokes gone mad!@ :}
lol, some amusement for the day. :P
Lucky i read this colin, i might have bought some. :x
do the makeup do the makeup!!
I would like to know if.....
Tampax really look and taste like sweets ??
and
Is it really possible to reject a future husband by writing "NO" using a Ford Focus ??
Briggerz
02-03-2002, 14:50
these tests prove only one thing to me....
....care in the community patients should never be allowed near a computer ;)
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