Tatarna
20-01-2003, 09:05
Subject: Sausages
Shaun and Paul fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money, all
together they came to a staggering 50 pence.
Shaun said 'Hang on I have got an idea' - he went to the next butchers shop
and came out with one large Sausage.
Paul: 'Are you crazy? Now we haven't got any money left at all'
Shaun: 'Don't worry - just follow me' - and went into the next pub where he
immediately ordered two pints and two large Jack Daniel's.
Paul: 'Now you have lost it - do you know how much trouble we will be in we haven't got any money!!'
Shaun: 'Don't' worry - I have got a plan - Cheers'!! They had their
drinks.
Shaun said 'OK, I will now stick the sausage through my zip - you will go
on your knees and put it in your mouth.
Said and done - the landlord noticed it - went berserk and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk - all for
free.
At the 10th pub Paul said ' Mate - I don't think I can continue this any
Shaun: 'How do you think I feel - I lost the sausage in the 3rd pub'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into the doctors....
Doc - "Hello. How can I help you?"
Man - "I've got an orange willy doc."
Doc - "What??"
Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."
Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up.... It seems it could be a sign of
stress; do you suffer from stress?
Man - "Not really."
Doc - "What about stress at work?"
Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I
worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack.
" Doc - "That sounds very stressful."
Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great - half the hours, 3 times the salary
and I feel really appreciated."
Doc - "Umm... what about your home life?"
Man - "Well, my girlfriend is a complete cow, she nags non-stop and puts me
down every chance she gets."
Doc - "That sounds stressful."
Man - "Yeah, but I'm leaving her and I've never been happier."
Doc - "Umm... what about your social life?"
Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."
Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"
Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits."
Shaun and Paul fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money, all
together they came to a staggering 50 pence.
Shaun said 'Hang on I have got an idea' - he went to the next butchers shop
and came out with one large Sausage.
Paul: 'Are you crazy? Now we haven't got any money left at all'
Shaun: 'Don't worry - just follow me' - and went into the next pub where he
immediately ordered two pints and two large Jack Daniel's.
Paul: 'Now you have lost it - do you know how much trouble we will be in we haven't got any money!!'
Shaun: 'Don't' worry - I have got a plan - Cheers'!! They had their
drinks.
Shaun said 'OK, I will now stick the sausage through my zip - you will go
on your knees and put it in your mouth.
Said and done - the landlord noticed it - went berserk and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk - all for
free.
At the 10th pub Paul said ' Mate - I don't think I can continue this any
Shaun: 'How do you think I feel - I lost the sausage in the 3rd pub'
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into the doctors....
Doc - "Hello. How can I help you?"
Man - "I've got an orange willy doc."
Doc - "What??"
Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."
Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up.... It seems it could be a sign of
stress; do you suffer from stress?
Man - "Not really."
Doc - "What about stress at work?"
Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I
worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack.
" Doc - "That sounds very stressful."
Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great - half the hours, 3 times the salary
and I feel really appreciated."
Doc - "Umm... what about your home life?"
Man - "Well, my girlfriend is a complete cow, she nags non-stop and puts me
down every chance she gets."
Doc - "That sounds stressful."
Man - "Yeah, but I'm leaving her and I've never been happier."
Doc - "Umm... what about your social life?"
Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."
Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"
Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits."