Texas, Ho!

[-=Aurielle=-]

Well guys, I'm gone for this summer. I know I don't post here much but I'm in the channel often enough.

I'm going to Texas. Houston area actually. Gonna meet some family for the first time, visit some friends, and a couple people from IRC. My family here is stressing me out so I decided I'm gonna visit some people and get away for the summer. I don't know when I'll be back, end of July beginning of August probably. I might get online once in a while and leave messages here or hop on IRC.

Have a good summer guys. Stay cool.

<3
Auri

[DCLXVI]

Haven't been around at all lately myself so I don't know you, but have a good time :)

[Diablos0]

Aye, enjoy America

[communal toilet]

:wavey:

enjoy :)

[-=Aurielle=-]

Ho hum.. in my extreme retardedness I seem to have found a flaw in my plan of running away to Texas.

1: I am not absolutely certain if I can go there with just my birth certificate and photo ID. I was told that I could since I'm a minor etc.
2: I stole two of my aunt's credit cards and I think she has cancelled them... **** I say! ****!
3: My Texan friend called my house and apparently my aunt is gone and no one knows when she'll be back heh.

Word of advice: Do not do stupid **** like me! I'm stranded in a city, actually I'm not even in my own province, with only $110 on me, two stolen cancelled credit cards, and no passport. HURRAH FOR ME AREN'T I COOL! *goes to play in heavy traffic* -_-

[EZtigER]

Have a nice time! :E

[schmoely]

$110 goes a LONG way down South.

Think of all the grits and chicken pot pie you could buy.

[GameGuru]

schmoel :o

[communal toilet]

:0

The Schmoelster ... get into #gpchat now so we can abuse you :)

[Custodian]

ahhh

so Texas Ho isn't your new job then

/me reads that again

:emb:

[-=Aurielle=-]

Well I'm in Texas now. Safe I guess. 60 hours on a bus is rough. Read about my trip here: http://auri_.livejournal.com

<3
Stay cool guys.

[Arachnamus]

Come back soon, keep up that sex

[-=Aurielle=-]

Texas was cool, got lots of sex and drugs. \o/
Will be home later tonight wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[schmoely]

I'm heading out there for a few days on Wednesday :)

There's normally plenty of drugs, but a severe lack of sex.

Oh well :(

[communal toilet]

:0

Take Razz with you then :D

[schmoely]

You know, that's not a bad idea. There's a redneck I know called Jake who has a daughter called Simone. They have a bull (genuinely), tied to a metal pole in their front garden.

Simone (not so genuinely) is bigger than the bull.

She'd like Razz. A lot.

[communal toilet]

lol

So its decided then ...

Everyone should give me £100 each.

[schmoely]

I will make sure the two of them are married. I think there's a church that will allow such marriages around Houston. If not, we'll day trip to Vegas and get them married in the Elvis church.

We may have to quarantine first, to decontaminate. You never know where Razz has been innit.

[communal toilet]

very wise

you should defo do the Elvis style wedding and don't forget to set up a web cam ;)

[Kalleth]

Well, i'm in ohio at the moment. If you want to come give me a slap, or shoot me, come find me in Cleveland, OH.

[schmoely]

Apart from the fact that it's on completely the other side of the country, I'll let you know if I'm passing through :p

[communal toilet]

Well I'm in Huddersfield, so if you get bored of America and fancy popping back to England to come to Huddersfield
for a bizarre night out then return to America, then give us a shout

:E

[Slam]

Originally posted by schmoely
You know, that's not a bad idea. There's a redneck I know called Jake who has a daughter called Simone. They have a bull (genuinely), tied to a metal pole in their front garden.

Simone (not so genuinely) is bigger than the bull.

She'd like Razz. A lot.

This reminds me of a story that I'm sure Razz won't mind me relaying to everyone here (lies).

Twas the night before the pissup at mine a few months back.
Myself, Razz and Mut wandered up the boulevard (oh ok I'm being a tart - it's a road with a load of bars and restaurants, pretty lights and girls wearing very little, but you know...) where I live to a few bars in preparation for the real piss up the next day.

It's nearly closing time and this bottle blonde 50 year old stick insect who is almost wearing her jeans and crop top sidles up to Razz and starts telling him how she reeeeally likes guys in glasses because she thinks they look vulnerable.

After laughing heartily at poor Razz being almost pinned up against the bar by this modern age Medusa, Mut and I are told in an elegant yet slurred and coloquial way to f**k off. We step back and giggle.

Meanwhile Razz manages to confuse the housing benefit ho by talking in his weird Scottish accent. However this means that the drunken prune needs to sway even closer to our pale faced hero as she tries to understand what he's saying.
We laugh, Razz looks pale and we are once again told to f**k off and leave them alone.

Then... horror upon horror, the bint spies that I'm wearing a top with a big silver star on it.

"Eeeeeeeeeh, I've got one of them on me thong!" proclaimed the sozzled slapper and promptly pushes her hipsters down to just under labia level, yanking a small yellow triangle of cloth out of them shrieking "seeeeeee!!!?"
(We winced - If you've ever been to a cheese counter where they use that piece of wire to cut the big block of cheese - that's kind what it looked like, just wrapped in denim).

We laugh, Razz tries to shrink in to the furniture, the bouncer shouts "lets see your drinks off pleeease!" and we get told to f**k off again.

Mut and I where all for spit roasting this hammered harlots fat friend so that Razz could bump uglies with her, but for some reason his conscience and taste suddenly made an appearance and we scarpered out of the bar.

You know I've never been able to eat fois gras since without thinking about that night...

[Arachnamus]

Sounds... about right.