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the-small-print
05-05-2007, 01:38
The warm tropical rain clattered against the haphazard panes of the window, making a sliding, moving sheen that blurred and rippled everything outside. A pair of dockhands scrambled to bring some crates of coloured silk in under the palm-leaf awning before they were ruined by the rain, the coppery storm-sun glinting off their soaked bodies.

A pair of grey eyes watched with a detached boredom as the men slipped and cursed on the cobbles. They belonged to a boy; tallish and gangly, with the look of someone who has grown much in a short time. His features were sharp and strong, but marred by a large purple bruise across one cheekbone and a scabbed lip.

The air was warm and humid, making his tongue tingle and his tunic stick clammily to his back. Behind him he heard the simpering giggle of the bloated landlady chatting to a customer. Her insincere, ratty voice jarred at his nerves as she named the price of his mother to another crack-toothed corsair and ushered them away, hastily outlining the house rules.

Something burned at the back of his throat, and his face twitched, causing the split on his lip to reopen painfully and bleed onto his chin. Cursing, he wiped the blood away with his forearm and made for the door, thinking to walk for a while in the fading rain, and maybe find some food.

"Dog! Where do you think you're going? Come 'ere!"

Scowling at the shrill voice, the boy turned on his heel to face the landlady and glared at her. Her jowely, bulldog-like face gave him a look of sharp impatience. He found it hard to believe that she had once been a courtesan too, let alone a successful one.

"Out. I'm hungry"

"Out is it, eh?" she cut in shrilly. "Youse going ter get some lead an' fix that damn leak is where youse going, Dog. Get some money from the kitty, and don't go stealing none, 'cause I've got it counted, mind, ev'ry penny"

The boy she called 'Dog' considered for a moment hitting the ugly old hag's face, but there would be no point. Sdapeze, the bouncer, would stop him before he could do any real damage, he'd get a beating, and things would go back to how they were, only a little worse. She didn't care enough to kick him out.

He nodded, and gritted his teeth as the woman's haggard features twisted into a look of triumph. He pushed past her, and went to his dingy little room to retrieve his battered leather pack.

Ten minutes later he was trudging the muddy street, his sandaled feet splashing through deep, brown puddles of luke-warm rainwater and enjoying the refreshing coolness that comes after a heavy downpour. He shouldered his way through the soaked crowd, another unremarkable face among many, nothing to mark him out except for a slight tension in his step that one would have to be watching closely to notice.

He pushed past one of the masons at the entrance to the builder's yard and earned himself a slap around the back of the head for knocking the man's elbow, which he took without reaction. He stopped in front of the counter, where a wiry man with a stubbly chin was chewing his quill as he pored over a large, dusty ledger. The man looked up distractedly, his one eye not quite lining up with the other, and said,

"What?"

Dog shuffled a little and responded in turn, "Roofing lead, for a leak. Two ells by one."

Grumbling, the thin man stood and loped off behind a stack of part-worked column segments and shoring blocks, and emerged a minute later bearing a shiny-edged roll of lead the length of his forearm, holding it as if it weighed nothing. He tossed it down onto the ledger and took up his quill again. Without looking up, he said "...two crowns," and crossed out some numbers on the page. Dog dropped a few coins onto the ledger and took the lead, and began to push his way back through the marketplace.

No one looks at me.... look at them, all walking along, staring at the pavement ahead or talking to one another. They don't spare a glance. But what would they see? The whore's son and errand boy. Why waste time looking at filth like that? But I don't need them to approve....

His pace quickened and his scalp began to tingle in anticipation. The sack clinked slightly at his back, and its strap bit into his shoulder. He moulded the roll of malleable lead in his hand.

Shouldering his way through the bustle of the market square, his roving eyes landed on something revolting but somehow fascinating: Cato the Slaver; a little man with a squint, who smelled of pork grease and unwashed male. He was backed by his two tall, grim-faced Haradrim guards with their scarified skin like carved ebony.

Behind the revolting little man there were four long wooden cages, bound with iron staples and filled with grubby-faced men, women and children, all looking distinctly ragged and strained. They were crouched in the corners; pacing up and down; staring out from between the bars with expressions of hatred, fear, grief, sadness or simple blankness, or holding one another and speaking reassuringly in their own tongue. Always that same tone, the hushing, reassuring whispers one might use to calm a spooked horse. Dog found it almost enchanting to listen in on them.

He wandered up and down the cages, examining their occupants. Very few even of them looked at him either, except....

...a tingle ran up his spine as a pair of eyes locked briefly with his own. They belonged to a girl, roughly his own age and despite the filth of the cage and her tattered clothing, he could not take his eyes from her. She was being held by what could only have been her brother, whose defiant face was a remarkable reflection of Dog's own; proud and stubborn, grey eyes and silken black hair - now tousled and greasy - and a split lip. As the girl hastily looked away and buried her face in her brother's neck, he felt a stab of loss, and knew clearly what it was he longed for.

He was going to run away anyway - it had been laughably easy to distract the house guard long enough to empty the savings kitty - so why not? He would have less to live on, but still....

A rushing force of impulse made up his mind and he sidled over to Cato's table.

"Get out of it, boy. Ain't nothing 'ere you can afford, so stop ogling."

Dog frowned

"That girl there... how much?"

Cato leered at him. "Too much for you, an' we don't do rental. Now bugger off."

Dog glanced back at the girl, who was watching them with a worried expression.

"I can give you four hundred crowns for her," he said, confidently. An odd rush rippled through his veins. Somehow it felt like being in a fight with one of the other boys, but without the pain, just the excitement. Cato glanced at him shrewdly, trying to judge his expression.

"Where's the likes o' you got four hundred crowns from?" he asked disbelievingly. Dog gave such a look of contempt that the Landlady would have been proud.

"That's not your concern, you filthy little creature, now what do you say, four hundred?"

Eyes were upon him. Angry eyes, bemused eyes, look of passing interest. But still, not enough.

"I could get eight hundred for 'er at Indre's place, no trouble."

"For her?" Dog scrabbled in his memory for scraps of relevant information. "She won't stay, look at her.... You've got to be careful of buying siblings, they always say. They'll do anything to get away. You know that; it would halve her price, for a start. Besides, it dosen't look like she's been treated well, look... shackle sores, might go nasty, could do with some feeding up, and some bulk too. She'd be no good for work at the moment. You'd need to invest to get her in condition."

"All right, all right. Six fifty, no lower."

"Five hundred."

"Yer what?" Cato gave him a disgusted look. "She's worth that much in the arena. Gotta pay more for a keeper."

"Alright, six."

"Six fifty, final. Any less and I'll get Manek 'ere to toss you in the cage with 'er, see how cocky you are then."

One of the Harad guards leered.

"Right, six fifty it is then. I'd shake your hand but I might catch something," said Dog, aping the tone of the better class of patrons to the Landlady's establishment.

A swell of victory rushed through his chest as he counted coins into the man's greasy palm, and signed his name on the necessary scrolls. He felt secretly proud of himself: at the auction, a girl as pretty as this one - no matter her condition - would go for at least nine hundred crowns.

He watched silently as the guards opened the cage and strode in, and wrestled the girl apart from her brother, who was screaming curses in his language so loud that all eyes were drawn to him. One of the guards hit him hard in the gut and he doubled over onto the floor of the cage, gasping for breath. The girl was shoved forwards until she stood in front of Dog, pale-faced and quivering.

The blood pounded in his ears, and he was aware of the eyes of every slave boring into him like hot pokers, none more fierce than the tear-rimmed glare of her brother. There was a moment of serene, unreal quiet as he rested a hand upon her shoulder and felt her flinch like a bird. There was a yawning flutter in his stomach. He gave her a reassuring smile and said, in the common tongue so she could understand:

"It's alright. I'm going to set you free."

...and then the noise returned with a rush. She collapsed to the ground as the roll of lead hit her fully on the side of the head, and the square echoed with gasps, cries of outrage and panicked shrieks. In the middle of the tumult Dog stood, every sense burning like wildfire as he repeatedly hit her on the ground again and again, until the strong arms of two Umbarian guards grabbed him and yanked him backwards away from the stricken body. He glanced around the square, a manic grin across his blood-freckled face and yelled out;

"She's mine! Look at the papers! Right there! I can do what I want!"

the-small-print
05-05-2007, 01:39
One of the guards hit him hard over the back of the head to silence him and grabbed up the papers from the slaver's table.

Around the square, mothers were shielding their childrens' eyes as they ushered them away; merchants were craning their necks or hopping up and down to see over the press of bodies, and citizens were making noises of outrage, shock, or even amusement. Every eye was upon him, but none touched Dog's cracked soul and burned like the eyes of the girl's brother. Such fierce hatred was in them that Dog could feel his heart stammer as it flooded with adrenaline and made him dizzy with energy.

Every sense burned and blistered like wildfire as he looked into that frenzied gaze; not all good, but... exhilarating. The boy smashed at the bars of his cage, tearing at them with his bare hands and screaming hard enough to crack his throat. He hurled every curse and threat his frenzied mind could find as the other slaves stood dumbfounded, weeping, or quivering in mortal fear.

Dog glanced at the guard, his eyes wild and his mouth twisted into a maddened grin. The guard looked up from the page and gave him a look of disgust, before rumbling,

"It's all here. Maybe get him on a charge of littering and Disrupting the Peace."

His colleague turned Dog around and looked him up and down.

"Hate Gondorians do you lad?"

"Yessir! I do sir!" lied Dog, in his maddened state sensing an opportunity and siezing it.
Behind him, the brother stood in dumbfounded shock.

"Well, don't go taking it out on the slaves, eh?" the guard chuckled - another explosion of screaming from the cage was shortly cut off when one of the Harad guards rammed the butt of his spear between the bars -

"Upsets the citymen, you know? And a looker like that could've bin put to good use. 'Ere... you like to 'ang around the docks, do ya... eh?"

The guard winked conspiratorially

Catching on, Dog managed to stop gawping long enough to grin and nod.

"Mebbe once you've got some scars you'll get a place on a ship, get to go out and get the ones that ain't worth anything, eh?"






Every blood vessel in Dog's body tingled for the next week, the moment of the kill rushing through his mind and back again, bringing nausea, excitement and morbid loss in turn. He wasn't sure if he regretted it, or if maybe it would have been better to take the girl and use her, but it was done now, and all that Dog knew was this:

All eyes were upon him, and he wanted more.

the-small-print
07-05-2007, 02:05
//any feedback would be appreciated, even if it is along the lines of "...you should see a psychiatrist".

*nudge nudge*

DM_Olórin
07-05-2007, 11:26
Clearly a great deal of thought has gone into this, well done small print! :)

*the Old Man smiles in approval of such a bold expenditure of literary effort*

DM_Kev
07-05-2007, 11:37
Very nice :)

Uinen.
07-05-2007, 14:51
The story has some rich descriptive passages giving the reader a good feel of both the locaton and the denizens of Umbar. The characterization of the people our 'hero' comes accross fits very well with the attitudes we might expect from a city that trades slaves and again the reader is encouraged to empathize with their unfortunate position with the use of the brother and sister.

It is not clear why Dog behaves as he does but I suspect this will come clear as his story progresses and may just be a part of his nature, already reflected in some of his quirks you have already described. All in all a gripping read, I shall watch this space with interest.

the-small-print
07-05-2007, 16:42
*big dumb grin*

Dakota Strider
07-05-2007, 16:53
Obviously Dog's mother never gave him a hug.

DM Mav
07-05-2007, 22:16
Loved it.. Wish I could write like that :)

Cindi Angelheart
09-05-2007, 09:00
Wow, very well done. Your description is fantastic, I didnt have to try to picture it because I was there (or it sure felt like it) . Gritty and dark it carried me along but I was shocked when he suddenly hit her, even though I had been warned before hand. As someone that has begun to write I am extremely jealous. I am sure the girl lives and meets a fine young plastic surgeon in the end. A pleasure to :read:

SNarfel
10-05-2007, 19:45
Wonderful read and inspiring, not least because different cultures fascinate me. It is also always interesting to read how someone else perceives the lesser developed aspects of Middle Earth.

Looking forward to how things turn out for "Dog".

mattimus
14-05-2007, 14:48
it sounds like Dog is soon to be a Sea Dog , very nice work.

the-small-print
18-05-2008, 01:08
The great timbers creaked and groaned in the darkness, as the waves hushed past outside. The only light when the hatch was closed came from a hissing storm-lantern that cast a greasy orange glow over the iron-barred cages, but once his eyes had adjusted, it was enough for Dog to see the hunched figures by.

The first few hours of his vigil had been most unrewarding. The new slaves had been noisy and irritating, continually moaning and whimpering loudly, rattling at the cages and trying to find a weakness. Some had been taken sick by the sea-sway, which had not improved the smell in the small, stuffy cabin, but after a while, once his eyes and nose had adjusted to the new conditions and the tumult had died down somewhat, his patience began to pay off.

Dog was quite comfortable among the piles of empty sacks and had a good vantage point to watch from. The hushed lilting of the slaves' voices as they spoke quiet words of reassurance and love to one another was most relaxing, and for a time he simply put his head back, eyes closed, and listened to them.

Their words for the most evaded him; the smooth, enchanting syllables of the elf-tongue, spoke to something inside him, and he felt his scalp tingle and his breathing slow as their whispers washed over him hypnotically.

He opened one eye and watched a mother hold her son, stroking the boy's hair back from his forehead as he stared glassy-eyed up to the solid planks above, and speaking un-keepable promises of freedom and rescue.

"Ahshhh, meleth nîn. Tol-Ada an ammen, a annamen i bar, istaha. Mereth daer ennas na bar. Gliri a thalen ast ebe, ag aes nossaneth di al-olthaned..."

Watching this particular open and unashamed display of affection felt bizarre to Dog. The sounds were relaxing, but there was something intensely irritating and unsettling about it. He momentarily wondered why this was and, unanswered, he sat up slightly and opened both eyes purposefully.

He was, of course, here for a reason. He had not even begun to fulfill it yet, and so he peered intently into the cages, paying close attention to the inhabitants.

Hmmm... mother and child, easy enough. Another pair over there. Those two are lovers.... close friends there. And he too...shares some bond with them. The one with the scarred face looks to be the brother of that plain-looking woman, and is that her daughter? Probably. Those two are brothers... so where is their natural leader? Hmm... yes, that would be him, the brooding fellow in the corner. Good blood to him, by his look. Those two by him will make trouble. One of them has a knife. No, both... that one does too.

It had been his idea, of course, and had even earned an appreciative chuckle from the Captain. Dog grinned in the darkness at the memory. Great man, the Captain. He had such an absolute command over his men, he was sure any one of them would board a swan-ship alone, if the Captain told him he was capable. And of course he was always keen to find new ways to keep order among the cargo.

Dog was stirred from his thoughts by the sharp clatter of a bell, and the immediate hammering of many feet running back and forth over head.

"Sail sighted! All hands to their blades!"

There was a tumultuous stirring among the slaves, as the cry was hastily translated among them.

His peace shattered, Dog let out a resigned sigh and coughed loudly, standing up. The slaves fell into dead silence, and all eyes turned amazedly towards him as the movement gave his presence away in the darkness.

He spent a long moment retying the lace at one of his cuffs, where it had come loose, savouring the intensity of the attention that was upon him. Then he looked up with an unconcerned, pleasant grin, almost as though he had only just noticed the slaves were there. He spoke clearly and slowly to them, so the brooding man could translate his words, a hateful look upon his face.

"I wouldn't get too excited. You're not going anywhere. You see those barrels?" he said, sweeping has arm around to indicate the bulging, and now suddenly threatening dark shapes. "Naurnen; fire oil. If it looks like the ship is lost, they will be lit, and you will all burn to death. You had better hope that your side loses."

He paused for a moment and grinned, watching many frightened and calculating eyes flick to the barrels. When all eyes were turned - except the brooding man's, he clearly had some wit about him - he lunged forward.

His hand darted into the cage and grabbed hold of a girl-child's tied-back hair and yanked hard.

The girl yelped in pain and shock as her head hit the bars, and a great shout went up, silenced almost immediately as it became apparent that Dog was holding a blade to her throat. He had worked hard on this knife, and its silvery edge was now sickeningly sharp, and was tickling a few tiny beads of blood from the girl's throat as she whimpered and shook in panic.

Dog grinned amiably to the other inhabitants of the cage, ignoring the inarticulate, frantic pleas of the child's mother. His pulse was racing.

"Stand back, everyone. Very good. You, and you. Throw down your knives outside the bars. You know, the Captain does not allow them on board, at least not in the hands of slaves."

Dog winked roguishly at the two men as they glanced wide-eyed at the brooding man, licking their lips. The man gave them a nod, and they both carefully withdrew their knives and tossed them gently through the gaps in the cage, so they landed out of reach.

"Good, good."

Dog grinned and gave a slight shrug, and then jerked his arm sharply, making to draw the knife across the girl's throat. There was a great yell of shock and rage, and a yelp from the girl.

With a great, broad grin, Dog stopped before the blade touched her neck, and withdrew his knife and sheathed it, still holding the girl's hair. Roaring with laughter, he reached into the cage and patted her amiably on her quivering shoulder, and released her.

"Good girl. Go back to your mother."

After a stunned moment, she darted back to the petrified looking-woman's grasp, and dissolved into tears.

Dog chuckled, paused for a moment to watch them grasp at each other, then turned with a snort, picked up the knives and confidently strode up to the steps. He opened the hatch and climbed out of the cabin, feeling the ferocity of the slaves' glares of utmost hatred scald his back like a hot iron all the way.

Jarmov
19-06-2008, 01:09
Good work, small-print. Always a pleasure to read your stories.