Author's note: I didn't find this one to be a one of my
funniest stories, but it was worth a shot.
(A day like any other day. Except a diffrent kind of day. A crazy day. At a carnival.)
Clipper: This carnival sucks. Why did it pop up?
Gopher: Something about supplying money to a children's fund.
(Clipper holds up the filer about the carnival and reads it.)
Clipper: Nope. It's supplying money to the porno movies of the UK.
Gopher: Why do they need money?
Clipper: Something about needing more dildos for the lezbo sences.
Gopher: Okay... that's natural....
Clipper: Whatever. Let's go find Angel.
(Clipper and Gopher go walking towards the funhouse.)
(Boba Fett walks out of it.)
Clipper: Hey, Boba Fett. How's it going as a lawer?
Boba Fett: Got fired.
Gopher: Hey, have you seen Angel?
Boba Fett: Angel? No. I haven't seen her. Why do you ask?
Gopher: We need to ask her something.
Clipper: Yeah... why do we need to ask her something?
Gopher: Don't worry about it.
(Clipper stares at Gopher strangly.)
(Somewhere across the carnival, Amnion and Supafly are talking.)
Amnion: What do you want to do first?
Supafly: I don't even want to be at this carnival.
Amnion: Tough. You'll enjoy it.
Supafly: I don't know. Midgets are at carnivals. I'm afraid of midgets. There so small and weird looking. It creeps me out.
Amnion: Don't worry about it. Okay. Just have fun.
Supafly: Why are you being so nice to me anyway?
Amnion: No reason.
(At a distance, JackG2 comes running up to them with a cotton candy in his left hand, and a demented looking teddy bear in his right.)
JackG2: Guys! Why are you leaveing me behind?!
Supafly: (under his breath) Oh no, here comes Mr. America. Just great.
JackG2: Hey! I got you a cotton candy, Amnion. And a teddy bear for you Supafly.
(Supafly looks at the teddy bear.)
Supafly: Uhhh... no thanks... I curently don't need a stuffed bear.
JackG2: Of corse you do! Everyone needs a teddy bear in there lifes!
(Supafly looks at JackG2 strangly, grabs the teddy bear and throws it off at a far-off distance.)
Supafly: Come on, Amnion. Let's go.
(They walk off)
(Jack looks in shock.)
JackG2: But... but.... ... teddy...(sigh)... he lived a fruitfull life.
(Halfway across the carnival, the teddy bear hits Gopher on the head.)
Gopher: Ow! What the hell?!
(Gopher picks up the bear and looks at it.)
Gopher: A bear? Some kid probaly threw this.
Clipper: Yeah, those damn punk kids.
(Clipper and Gopher look towards the group of kids hanging around.)
Clipper: Those must of been the ones who threw it.
(Clipper and Gopher walk up to the kids, then pushes one down.)
Gopher: Okay, which one of you punks threw a bear at me?
(From behind Gopher and Clipper.)
Strong Man: Which one of you f@cks pushed my kid brother down?
(Gopher and Clipper turn around to see a very big and strong man.)
(Gopher and Clipper both point at each other and say at the same time)
Gopher and Clipper: He did it!!!
Strong Man: That was a bad mistake.
(The strong man takes Gopher in his right hand and Clipper in his left, and he jams Clipper up Gopher's butt. Then he lets them down and Gopher stands up with Clipper's body sticking straight out of his butt.)
Strong Man: That should teach you a lesson.
Gopher: Yeah (ow) lesson (ow) learned.
Clipper: mmm mmm mmm.
Strong Man: Good.
(the strong man walks off with the group of kids.)
Gopher: Man! What a jerk!
Gopher: Ow! Don't talk in my butt! It feels like your teeth is scraping my rectum!
Clipper: (makes a grunt)
Gopher: Come on. Let's go.
(Gopher walks off with Clipper's body wobbling up and down.)
(Later, in the parking lot to the carnival, Avenging Angel gets out of her car.)
Avenging Angel: What the hell does Gopher want this time?
(Just then, a guy runs up behind Angel and pinches her butt.)
(Angel turns around and punches him in the jaw. The guy goes flying towards the ground.)
Avenging Angel: Don't f@ck with me today! I'm haveing my PMS today and I am really pissed off!!
(Angel walks off, very fast and angerly.)
Guy: Ow! If only she knew that my specimen of the 24-hour ant got loose and was on her butt. I just saved her life... damn... (adjusts his jaw.)
(At this point, the 24-hour ant in his hand bites him, and the only words he's able to say is "Oh sh@t!")
(Meanwhile, Amnion and Supafly are eating hot dogs at a stand.)
Supafly: So why did you bring me here?
Amnion: There's something important I have to tell you.
Amnion: Uhh... I shagged your mom.
(Supa fly stands up in shock.)
Supafly: WHAT?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN?!!
Amnion: I mean... I humped your mom.
Supafly: OH MY GOD!!! WHY?!!!
Amnion: Well, I was comeing to your house because your mom called me over there, and I ring the doorbell and your mom answers in nothing but a bathrobe...
Supafly: (Covers face with hand) Oh god no...
Aminon: She dropped her bathrobe, she was naked, she kissed me, and we f@cked like dirty animals.
Supafly: GOD MAN!! THAT'S MY MOM YOUR TALKING ABOUT!!!
Amnion: Yeah. She's good in bed. She gives a great blow job.
(Supafly punches Amnion in the face.)
Amnion: Ow! What you do that for?!
Supafly: You f@cked my mom! What do you think I did that for?! I can't belive you did that!!
Amnion: Sorry, but your mom is an attractive women. She can have anyone she wants....
(Supafly punches Amnion again and then walks off.)
Amnion: Ow... (looks at the people who were watching) Don't worry. Family probelms.
(Meanwhile, JackG2 runs into WeaselFierce.)
JackG2: Hey! WeaselFierce!
WeaselFierce: (Oh Christ) Umm.. Hi, Jack.
JackG2: Hey, have you seen Amnion or Supafly anywhere?
WeaselFierce: Uhh.. no. Can't say I have.
JackG2: Oh... well... you wanna hang out?
WeaselFierce: No. I'm metting my gilrfriend here.
JackG2: Oh... okay... well, if you ever need some guy time or something... then you come see me....
WeaselFierce: Uhh... yeah sure... bye.
JackG2: Yeah, bye. (Jack walks off sluking.)
WeaselFierce: Geez, what a head case.
(Around the freakshow, Gopher and Clipper [who managed to get out of Gopher's butt] were waiting for Angel.)
Gopher: Where is she?
Clipper: She'll be here. Don't worry.
(Clipper takes a yo-yo out of his pocket and starts yo-yoing.)
Gopher: Where'd you get that yo-yo? It looks familar.
Clipper: I found it in your ass.
Gopher: Oh! I've been looking for that! Give it back to me.
Clipper: Sorry. It's mine now.
Clipper: You know, "finder's keepers, loser's weepers".
Gopher: But it's my yo-yo, because it was in my butt.
Clipper: Well, how do I know that? You probaly mooched it off a kid.
Gopher: What? "Finder's keepers" with a kid?
Clipper: No. Just stealing. Stealing from a kid.
Gopher: I didn't steal it.
Clipper: You can't prove it.
Gopher: Well, you can't prove I stole it.
(Clipper ponders on this thought for a moment.)
Clipper: Shut up.
Gopher: Not till I get my yo-yo back.
Clipper: No. It's mine now.
Gopher: And you don't count this as stealing?
Clipper: No. Because I found it. If I stole it, then it would of have to be taken in a place you own, like your house or a safe.
Gopher: But you got it out of my butt which was something I owned. So you stole it.
Clipper: Didn't I tell you to shut up?
Gopher: aw... shut your own.
(On the other side of the carnival, JackG2 runs into Angel.)
JackG2: Hey, Angel! Didn't expect to see you here.
Avenging Angel: Not now, Jack. Now is not the time.
JackG2: Well, come on, Angel! Let's hang out!
(Angel grabs Jack by the coller of his shirt.)
Avenging Angel: Listen to me. You know your balls in your pants?
(Jack nods, scared.)
Avenging Angel: Well, if you don't leave me alone, your balls will be yanked up to your mouth and pulled out through your rectum where I will cut them off with a rusty buzzsaw. Got it?
(Jack nods, very scared.)
Avenging Angel: Good.
(Angel puts Jack down.)
Avenging Angel: (smileing) Have a nice day, Jack!
(and she walks off.)
JackG2: (still in shock) ..... balls.... through my rectum....?
(Jack runs off at top speed.)
(Amnion finds Supafly leaning against a one of the poles located around the carnival.)
Amnion: Hey, come on! Why won't you talk to me?
Supafly: Well, maybe that part about you haveing sex with my mom kind of distoryed our friendship.
Amnion: Then maybe I shouldn't tell you were getting married and that she's pregnent.
(Supafly and Amnion get into a fight, and while doing so, they knock down the pole knocking other poles in a domino like fashion.)
(The poles knock all the way to the parking lot, where JackG2 is running afraid.)
(He looks up at the pole falling towards him.)
JackG2: Oh sh... (the pole pummels Jack.)
(Boba Fett, who saw the whole thing walked up to what was left of Jack and says...)
Boba Fett: You got knocked the crap out.
(Meanwhile, Angel finally makes it to Clipper and Gopher.)
Avenging Angel: Okay. I'm here. What did you want?
(She steps a bit away from Clipper because he smells strange.)
Gopher: Oh, good, I wanted to ask you if I could borrow your copy of "Back to the Future". I need to prove something to Clipper.
Avenging Angel: That's it? That's what you called me here for?
Clipper: Yeah, over that stupid triva question?! Gopher, you could of asked her over the phone.
Gopher: I didn't feel like it.
Avenging Angel and Clipper: DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT?!
Gopher: Yeah. No big deal.
(Angel and Clipper cower over Gopher in anger.)
(Around closing time for the carnival, the ambulance cleans up what's left of JackG2 in the parking lot. The police arrest Supafly for pummling Amnion's head on the ground. Amnion is taken to the hospital for sticthes. And Clipper and Angel leave together. But no one notices Gopher impaled upon the high pole, from his butt.)
Gopher: OW! OW! OW!!!!
T H E E N D